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Iinhale a deep breath, steeling myself in the sanctity of my room before I exit out into the manor. The past week has been—intense, to say the least. Ever since Mateo’s outburst in the training room, we’ve all been walking on eggshells, using every spare moment to focus on the trials. Effectively putting my relationships with Maximus and Kyros on pause. Sure, I’m usually with one if not both of them for the entire day, but we focus on my private history lessons or my physical training.
My heart sinks in my chest at the memory of that day, the high I felt, having my relationship with Maximus flourish. The excitement that rushed through me at the sight of Mateo watching us, his half-hard cock straining against the tight black linen of his pants. My eyes scoured the bulge there, imagining the possibilities of what the three of us may get up to in that training room. Only to be dashed moments later with Mateo’s unusually icy glare and contemptuous remarks.
Of course, we were taking the trials seriously. I quirk my lips to the side, letting out a huff of exasperation. He hadn’t seen the hours of training that preceded that make-out session. He hadn’t seen the weeks we’ve been going nonstop, even before our relationship even progressed to anything sexual.
Maximus didn’t take lightly being scolded like a petulant child. He’s doubled down on our regular training, pushing me even harder than before, something I didn’t even think was possible. He’s even taken to accompanying me to my extra history lessons with Kyros that started last week. Making sure that we remain on track. Such a hypocrite. All work and no play, makes Liv a frustrated girl.
To make matters worse, I haven’t even been able to speak to Mateo since then, he’s been off with the majors ever since. None of the others seem to understand why either. And by others, I mean Maximus and Kyros. Adrian still won’t speak to me and makes himself scarce as soon as I enter a room. My heart wrenches in my chest, as though it’s being twisted in a vice-like grip. I’m not sure how much longer I can take.
I miss him, miss his mischievous grin, and smiling eyes, miss his teasing and sensual touches. But most of all, I miss his kind and caring heart, miss the man that risked so much to help me be able to keep my best friend—my sister—in my life. He helped relieve me of the weight of guilt that sat on my chest from needing to lie to her. The selfless man that used up almost every drop of his power in the fight against Titus to keep the rest of the students safe, to keep me and my friends safe.
I open the door, my heart still heavy with the memories that replay in my mind when I crash into a hard, masculine body. Warm arms wrap around me, and I steady myself against his sculpted chest, pressing against his smooth skin.
I don’t even need to look up into the crystal blue eyes to know who I’m pressed up against. Whose warm, muscled arms are wrapped around me, tucking me into the safety of his chest as he’s done countless times before. His comforting embrace sends a tendril of heat through my chest, washing away the tightness that gripped it just a moment before.
I need to lift my gaze to meet his and see the look he’s giving me, to see the emotion there and if I’m just imagining the warmth as his body molds against mine, as though he’s basking in the feel of me pressed against him just as much as I am.
I cautiously tip my head up, not wanting to break the fantasy too soon. I find his crystal blue eyes looking down on me, soft with concern, as he gazes down on me. Our gazes meet, and it’s as though nothing happened, nothing changed between us. My breath catches in my throat at the warm look of care and—and something I can’t allow my mind to linger on, not when I don’t know if it’s real or not.
I see the exact moment he remembers himself. The shuttering of his once-open eyes slices like a blade through my heart. His arms fall limply to his sides from where they wrapped around my back, and his soft eyes immediately turn cold and guarded. He steps back, leaving my skin feeling cold and bereft without his comforting warmth. My arms wrap around myself reflectively, as though the pressure can keep my heart from falling out of my chest at the feeling of loss and rejection that washes over me.
His mouth pops open, about to say something before he thinks better of it. Instead, his jaw clamps shut, and he turns on his heel, striding off without a backward glance.
“Adrian?” His name leaves my mouth in a soft, unbidden plea. My lips moving before my brain can even process the words. I barely recognize my voice, the single word wrought with so much emotion and pain. His foot pauses mid-step, tension radiating throughout his body. He doesn’t turn, though, just stands there motionless, waiting for me to say something.
“I miss you.” I can’t help the way my voice hitches with the words. Those three words summarize all of my racing thoughts. There’s so much I want to say, to do. But my heart isn’t ready to say the other three words my mind screams at me to say. My lips firmly clamp shut. I can’t say them now, not when I’m unsure if he’ll just walk away, crumpling my heart up like a spare scrap of paper.
I don’t want to push him, not with everything he’s done for me. That would be selfish. It wouldn’t be fair for me to ask him to put his own feelings aside just to spare my little chicken heart from hurting any longer.
I see his shoulders slump at my words. Some of the tension radiating from his body flees him and the tightly corded muscles relax a fraction.
“I know it’s not fair for me to ask you to forgive me, but can we please talk soon? I hate this distance, I hate not having you in my life anymore, Adrian.” My breath catches in my throat, and I blink back the tears that well in my eyes. Life without Adrian is like having a piece of me missing, like never feeling my lungs fill completely. A constant ache and reminder that someone I’ve grown to care for so deeply has disappeared from my life, leaving an empty black hole in his wake.
I chew on the corner of my lip, anxious about what he may say, if he says anything at all. The similarity isn’t lost on me. I know this must have been what they felt like when I left. And I regret my actions entirely if they even felt a fraction of the pain and loss weighing on my chest right now.
I hear his sharp inhale of breath as though he’s about to let loose a barrage of words and emotions onto me. I steel myself for whatever he may say, my heart lightening at the prospect. Yearning for the outburst of anger, I would take it over silence any day.
To my dismay, his muscles bunch, tensing once more, holding back the words that he barely keeps contained. He lets out a huff of exasperation, and my stomach twists at the sound.
“Soon, Olivia,” he sighs, “just not yet.” His words are a bit lighter than I thought, giving me an ounce of hope. Yet I cringe inwardly at his use of my full name. No angel, not even Liv. I yearn to hear him call me angel again.
He pauses a moment longer, before stalking to his room and closing the door behind him. I’m not sure if I’m devastated or overjoyed by the fact that he didn’t meet my gaze once more before sequestering himself in his room. Although I want to see his crystal blue eyes on mine, I want to cling to the shred of hope he gave me. The fact that he spoke to me at all is a vast improvement to the past few weeks.
I hold on to the soft look of concern he gave me while wrapped in his warm embrace. Letting that lift my spirits, holding on to the desire to see him look at me like that again. I vow to myself that once I’ve repaired what’s broken, I won’t let it be shattered ever again.
* * *
Adrian
I close the door behind me, leaning back against the cool wood as soon as the click of the latch hits my ears. My hands form into fists at my side, but I hold myself back, needing to keep my palms closed before I swing the door back open and take her into my arms again.
This is exactly why I need to keep my distance, I can’t trust myself near her. I want to feel the press of her body against mine, to wrap my arms around her and forget the rest of the world. But that wouldn’t be fair to her, to pretend everything is alright while allowing these thoughts to fester.
My mind won’t stop replaying the moment she left, the moment she ran from me, from us. She dissipated into thin air, leaving no trace of where she could have gone.
We all spent the entire week searching for her, researching every moment we could on how to trace her. An entire week of being stricken by loss and gripped with fear that Titus would find her before we did. But she didn’t use her powers, not once after she dissipated. So we had to track her the old-fashioned way, searching for clues any way we could. Just for me to find her in Mexico, drinking with her friends and some random guys.
Anger boils in my veins as I remember that man from the bar. I could tell she had no attraction to him, but the thought that some other man that wasn’t one of her other mates, my brothers, thought he had any right to touch her …
