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Would it really be such a bad thing? Monte was my childhood friend before we ever took things to the next level. We had been teens, entrenched in our feelings and hormones when I left. Young love seemed impossible to lose at that point. Neither of us had imagined a reality where we weren’t together. But too soon that had been ripped away from us because of me and my immature decisions.
“I’m not the same girl that left Endcliffe ten years ago. I’m not the same girl you loved then,” I tell him, a sad smile lifting my lips, and I use his momentary shock to pull my hand from his and stand. I need some time to think this over, to sleep and digest all of this information threatening to cause my barricaded emotions to rupture the tenuous wall holding them back.
I focus squarely on the door and take a step towards it, about to escape to find some peace and let the tsunami of lies and betrayals settle in, when he bolts from his seat. Before I know what’s happening, his warm hands clasp my shoulders, turning me to face him. His gaze is hard on me, scanning my face, searching for something. My body goes rigid, unsure if I can give in to the longing I see pass across his face.
“I’m not the same guy either, Skylar. I’m not the same naïve kid I used to be. There are unspeakable things I’ve had to do as your father’s beta. I have scars too.”
I relax into his hold, his words taking some of the tension from my limbs. My messed up mind apparently takes comfort that he, too, has issues. As though the shared trauma draws us closer, I slip under his arms, resting my head against his chiseled chest. He immediately wraps his arms around me, and his chest relaxes as he cradles my head against him, heedless of the moisture still drenching the marred white fabric clinging to me.
“It wouldn’t be so bad, Monte, to be with you, to love you again,” I whisper against his chest, needing him to know that. The only thing that would truly hold me back would be my own emotional wounds that I still need to work through. Blood wells to the surface from all the memories and emotions dredged up today, the crippling loss still crumpling my chest.
His chest shudders underneath my cheek, holding back the sob of relief.
“You have no idea how easy it would be for me to love you again, Sky,” he whispers back, the warm caress of his breath brushing against the top of my head.
I let myself soak into his comforting warmth for another moment before pulling away. The emotions are suffocating now, too real, too raw for me to sort through.
“We have a meeting with the Whitlock pack tomorrow, we can announce it then.” Monte pulls back too, fisting his hands in his pockets as though he has to physically hold himself back from wrapping me against him again. He’s clearly reading the panic crossing my face and changing the subject back to the issue at hand. Everett Whitlock, the bears, the marriage, and fake engagement. I let my mind focus on those things, hoping for a few more moments of clarity before I fall into the oblivion of sleep.
“I can’t go, Monte.” I shake my head, needing to sort out my priorities. “We should push the meeting. I need to figure out what happened to my father, find his killer and bring them to justice.” I let my eyes take on the steely determination that fills me. Despite everything I learned today, I need to hold on to the vengeance that burned through my veins mere hours before.
“I know you need that closure, but the pack needs this. Finding Godric’s killer won’t bring him back.” An argument is poised on my tongue, but he cuts back in. “I promise I have our best people working on it, and I’ll personally head the investigation, but we need you to be the point of contact with the other packs, to show that we have our leadership back in place. Otherwise, they may choose to overtake us rather than work with us.”
His words calm the rage burning like a renewed fire in my veins, the cold weight of exhaustion rolling back in to replace it.
“I promise you, when we find whoever did this, you’ll get the killing blow.” Monte clasps his hand over his chest, underscoring his promise. I let his vow strengthen me, fuel me for the next few weeks of turmoil. I would get to end them and watch the light in the killer’s eyes blink out.
That would have to be enough for now.
Chapter Four
Skylar
Itapmyfootagainst the floor of the limo in a steady staccato, anxious energy thrumming through my limbs. We pass through quiet streets. Most families are at school or work at this early afternoon hour. The smooth caress of Monte’s palm slides across my thigh, rubbing tender circles over the fitted dress pants I chose to wear to our meeting today. Thankfully my belongings were delivered while we were in the office yesterday, saving me from having to delve back into painful memories by surfacing more of my mom’s wardrobe.
My body tenses under his touch, my first instinct to pull my leg away, but I push down that reaction. I’ve dated since Monte, but never anything truly serious. My focus has always been on my career, spending hours on end locked behind my office door at the club, crunching the numbers and looking for ways to draw in business. A dead club can’t hide the amount of money my father funneled through there from his less savory ventures. I always thought that was the way to connect with my father, to make him proud, but it always went unnoticed, even when our profits started rivaling some of his illegal money streams.
Instead, I worked myself to the bone, letting life pass me by along with allowing the opportunity to fix my relationship with my father to slip through my fingers. As though on reflex, my head turns to Monte. Would I have the same sort of regrets if I didn’t give him a chance? He gives me a small reassuring smile, and I can’t help but mirror his expression. Yet, despite the comfort I feel in his presence, I don’t feel the same fire and passion I’d felt as a teenager. There had been a point where I couldn’t imagine loving anyone the way I loved Monte. Not even a fated mate. But does love have to be that uncontrollable desire? We may be different now, but we still carry parts of our past selves, perhaps that’s enough? That spark may even reignite for all I know.
“There are a few details we should go over before we get there,” Monte says, interrupting my thoughts and putting an end to the inner turmoil brewing inside my mind. And with that, he shifts into explaining the details of the attacks on our two wolf packs from the Langleys. They’ve been showing up at our establishments, trashing them, interrupting deals, poaching our clients, and attacking our people in both shifted and human forms.
“They’re hungry for power and have nothing to lose, Sky. That’s why they’re so dangerous. A sleuth of migrated bears, fighting tooth and nail to claim the life they desire, the life they believe wolves have taken from them,” Monte explains, his frown deepening with each word.
“I know the bears are lethal. It’s why the wolf packs never get close, even though there are so many of them. We know if they get power and influence they could rip us apart. I still can’t quite believe my father allowed them to get so strong.” I shift in my seat and scrape my nails along the leather. Mentioning my father still brings rage.
“We’re both on the same page, us and the Whitlock pack. So this meeting is more so just a formality to make sure you are still on board with the pact and to solidify our plans to take action. We also need to make sure they still see us as an asset, show that you are just as strong of a leader as your father.” Monte gives me a reassuring smile, which I attempt to mirror, but it comes off as more of a grimace. My stomach twists at his words, and I absentmindedly tap my foot once more. Will I be as strong of an alpha as my father? Will I live up to our family name?
“You’ll do great,” he murmurs, his words followed by the brush of his hand against my leg again. I let the tension leave my body, forcing myself to relax into the touch. My shoulders slump slightly as I expel a deep sigh and slide closer to his side, soaking in his body heat.
Monte wraps an arm around my back, and I nestle my head against his shoulder, basking in the comforting reassurance of his presence. Wisps of hair tickle my face as they fall out of my plaited braid.
“Oh, before I forget,” Monte says, and I bite back my annoyed huff as he jostles me, rummaging in his pocket. A velvet box appears in his outstretched hand, and my breath catches in my throat at the sight.
“It was my mother’s ring,” Monte breathes, his voice tight with emotion. He flicks the box open with his thumb, and my mind almost registers the movement in slow motion. My heart beats a staccato as the cool grip of fear washes over me. The gravity of the situation sinks in, his words from yesterday playing through my mind. I forced myself to relax, to lean against him, this is all too much. The box clicks over to reveal the princess cut diamond within. I can’t do this.
“I just... I don’t feel right wearing it, Monte, not something so special. I don’t want to tarnish the meaning of it.” I will my words to come out smooth and steady, not full of the panic turning my veins to ice.
Monte’s mother is a saint of a woman, and for her to give this to him, I can’t even fathom what he must’ve said to her. Fear skitters up my spine that I may hurt both of them if I can’t return his feelings.
