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Chapter12
Ihesitated by my door before, wanting desperately to escape to peace and time to process.
But that was the problem. Doing things alone. Without the king I would have never gotten through the dining hall humiliation. Without Noah, I’d have never survived the glamour that covered the castle last year.
While I was on my own plenty, I didn’t have to be. And maybe that would make all the difference this time.
Just a little longer and then I could rest and regroup. But right now, I needed someone else to talk this through with. Someone who would be levelheaded and a true friend.
I moved easily through the halls and already felt lighter, knowing I’d have someone to work this out with.
The skull and crossbones symbol was a major issue. Secret conversations about Noah being weak was another thing. The duchess was definitely up to something. Something that would ensure her reign as queen of the Unseelie, even if it meant killing the royal family in the process.
She wanted the throne no matter what, no matter who she hurt in the process. Noah was genuinely in love with her, and the fact that she would betray her own king and queen like this made me hate her even more. And the bigger concern was figuring out if Vanessa truly meant she’d deal with the queen if she got in her way.
Though I was no fan of the queen, she was the queen. She worked hard to care for the fae, and losing the queen would have devastating consequences for people I loved.
Nicole better have a good idea, because normally I’d go to the queen or Noah. But those were the only two people who were so completely enamored with Vanessa that they would not believe me. Not even for a minute.
I knocked at Nicole’s door. “Hey, it’s me. I need to talk to you.”
My foot twitched and started tapping as I bit my nail. “Nicole!” I knocked again.
Where was she?
I knocked once more, leaning my ear against the door, but I didn’t hear anything.
“No, no, no. Not tonight,” I whined. She must be with Aron.
Apparently everyone was getting some tonight except me. Now I’d need to push aside whatever Nicole and Aron were doing and what Noah and Vanessa were doing.
The excitement of retreating to my room had lost its allure. The number of emotions I’d gone through today practically short-circuited my mind. I shivered as I crawled into bed under my covers.
Time. Time to process would help.
The silence that surrounded me in the darkness of my room held horrors for me now. It reminded me of the silence in the dining hall while the queen and Vanessa exposed my body to everyone. While they spat cruel lies my way and the kingdom stayed silent.
I didn’t want to be upset, be angry at the staff for not standing up for me. Logically, I knew they couldn’t.
But the pain didn’t go away. Silence was what my humiliation was met with.
The world went silent again on me when Noah proposed.
The silence held nothing good for me right now.
A few tears trickled over my cheeks, wetting my pillow more the longer I cried.
Time had to help me find a way to stop this, to stop Vanessa, and to repair the parts of me that she was cracking the longer she stayed.
* * *
Nightmares were the only thing that waited for me as I slept. Uncomfortable, uneasy and tossing and turning, I’d barely been able to get a solid hour stretch at a time before sliding effortlessly into another bad dream.
As the sun rose and illuminated my room, I knew the call to rise and take care of Vanessa would come, no matter how hard I wished against it. So instead of waiting for fate to come after me, I decided to make the choice for myself to get up.
Splashing water on my face did no good at easing my weariness, and I stood swaying over the sink as my eyes closed and I drifted.
Of course, now I was tired enough to sleep and probably pass out for hours, nightmares or not.
