Page 5 of Pleasantly Pursued

“Finding you in order to please my mother?”

“Finding me to appease your guilt.”

He leaned against the counter beside me, folding his arms over his chest. His forehead puckered. “I suppose you are not wrong, though I would like to think my ceaseless hunting has been more altruistic than self-serving. I cannot deny that my guilt propelled me into action.”

This side of Benedict was much harder to remain angry with. The seldom seen moments he lowered his sword and was willing to partake in rational conversation were the only times I did not wish to stomp on his foot and shout my frustration.

Yes, it was a childish response. We’d met as veritable children and I do not believe our relationship matured much beyond it.

“Will you return to Chelton with me?” he asked. “My mother would be happy to see you. James has married now, so there is another young woman in residence. You would like her.”

The picture he painted was enticing beyond all measure. My hands ached from the relentless scrubbing of dishes and hot water and kneading dough and working in the kitchen garden and all the other tasks required of me. Exhaustion slipped through my shoulders, bending them forward in defeat. It was an impossible situation. If I returned to Chelton, I would be delivered to Lord Claverley, andthatwas out of the question.

“I cannot leave. I have a position here and people are depending on me.”

“Under a false name,” he said. “Surely they could never trace you back to Chelton.”

“That is unlikely, yes, but it would not be right to leave them without notice.” I cleared my throat. “Which matters little, anyway. I do not intend to leave. I am content here.”

He scoffed.

“Iam,” I insisted. “It is good work. I remain in the kitchen mostly, so no one in the house truly knows me, and I am . . .”

“Yes?”

I pried the word loose, and it ripped from me, like a bird set free. “Safe. I feel safe here.”

“Gads, Thea. You would be safe at Chelton. It is nearly a fortress.”

I shook my head. I could not explain to him my numerous reasons for finding safety in a Leicestershire kitchen, for he would not understand any of them. Least of all the way Lord Claverley’s pudgy fingers had run down the ribbon of my dress and made my chest run cold during my final dinner at Chelton, before I’d gone off to school. That disturbing experience had occurred in the drawing room, surrounded by other people. How would the earl behave in the privacy of his own home, without company? I knew how men of his ilk acted. I’d watched my father act in much the same way, and his friends were no different.

I wanted a husband. Ahumblehusband. Those were not found in London’s ballrooms or Lord Claverley’s dining room. I was grateful for Lady Edith’s efforts, even when she had gone to the trouble of arranging for Lord and Lady Claverley to chaperone me during the Season. However, I could never accept that generosity, not when it would lead to a life in shackles.

“It is not for you to understand, Benedict,” I said at length.

“That is abundantly clear.”

“Then you will keep my secret? You will not tell anyone of my location?”

He moved to argue. “But—”

“You may tell Lady Edith I am safe and content. I had hoped my letter to Mrs. Moulton would do that. I would like for her to be at ease.”

His face tightened. “That is not enough. She will not be happy until she has seen with her own eyes that you are whole and unhurt. Did you know she sent for Mrs. Moulton and had her brought to Chelton so she could question the woman in person?”

I gasped slightly. That seemed excessive . . . except that Lady Edith could not travel by carriage without growing grossly ill. It was a malady that affected her greatly. I could understand how the better option for Lady Edith was to send for my headmistress, though I found that to be unnecessary and largely excessive.

“I left a note so no one would worry.”

Benedict’s lips turned into a wry smile. “Perhaps the vagueness of your note only made them worry more.”

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the edge of the worktable. I’d made a mess of things. How was I to fix this? Of all people, I’d never wished to hurt Lady Edith.

I looked at Benedict. “You believe she will be satisfied if she sees me in the flesh and can discern for herself I am well?”

He straightened. “I do.”

“If I come with you, I will lose my position.”

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