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“I love you,” he repeated and took both her hands in his, bringing them up to his lips to kiss her knuckles.
“I know you love me. I believe you, Nolan,” Raina answered him quietly. “My father told me what you did with Jeb. Until I heard what he said and what you’d done, I think I was too afraid to trust my heart and let myself admit that I love you, too.” She pressed one hand against his chest. “I know you have a good and decent heart, Nolan, and your actions have proved that to me when I wouldn’t listen to what I really wanted to hear. You see, I don’t have such a great track record with men. I don’t tend to choose the stayers, or the reliable guys. In some ways I think I was just waiting for you to fail at the first hurdle because that would let me let you go.”
“And I did fail. I failed you terribly.”
“That’s in the past, Nolan. You’ve more than made amends for that. You were acting for your client and, to be honest, even I can see now that you had no other option than to do the best for him at the time.”
She looked up at him and Nolan saw tears swimming in her exquisite blue eyes. The sight made his heart wrench at the knowledge he’d put those tears there.
“Raina—” he started, but she put her fingertips to his lips.
“Shh, let me finish. You did what was right at the time, the same way you did what was right when you resigned your position with Samson Oil. I know that now.” She took in a deep breath and her voice was so soft when she next spoke, Nolan could barely hear her. “I also know about Carole and Bennett.”
The names struck him like a physical blow. “I planned to tell you, eventually,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion. “It was more difficult than I thought.”
“It’s okay, Nolan. I understand that it’s probably too painful for you to talk about them. For a while I’ve held that against you as another secret you were keeping from me. But I’ve let that go. Even so, there’s still something that worries me. Something I need to ask you.”
“Ask,” he demanded.
“Do you love me and JJ because we remind you of your wife and son?”
Nolan felt her gaze lock on him with an intensity that showed him that everything now relied upon his response. He pushed aside the pain and the hurt, and chose his words carefully. His future happiness depended on how he said this.
“Raina, I will always love Carole and Bennett.” His voice cracked on their names and he halted for a moment, closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. “But they’re gone. Losing them— I thought I’d never love again. That I never could. It wasn’t just the pain of losing them, it was the risk of putting myself back out there again. Of maybe losing what little I had left of them, as well, if I let someone else into my heart.
“Meeting you has taught me that it’s possible to love again without diminishing what I had with Carole, and trust me, I never thought I’d even want to feel about anyone the way I feel about you. You’re so strong and so resilient. Life has battered you down and still you’ve shown your strengths by getting back up and moving forward. You haven’t just been an example to me, you’ve opened my eyes to who I should be and shown me that I can loosen my grip on the past. Doing so allows me to think of a future. It’s a future I want with you.”
She nodded but remained silent. He looked down at the little packet in her hands.
“Will you open it now?” he asked.
His heart hammered in his chest. She could still return it to him. And he’d accept it and let her go if that was what she really wanted, even though the very thought threatened to tear his heart in two. He held his breath until she’d worked loose the tape that bound the wrapping, exposing the ring box. She lifted the lid and gasped. Inside, nestled against a dark velvet bed, lay his promise to her—a cushion-cut blue diamond edged with brilliant white diamonds and set in delicate platinum scrollwork.
Nolan dropped to one knee on the floor in front of her and lifted the ring from the box, offering it to her.
“Raina Patterson, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you let me be your husband for eternity and be a father to JJ and any other children we might be lucky enough to have?”
She appeared lost for words until he heard her choke on a sob. Tears rolled down her face but none of that mattered when he heard the words she was so desperately working to get out of her throat.
“Yes. Yes. Yes,” she said repeatedly through her tears.
