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But if I’m protected by his strength and power…
Then that opens an option for me that I never knew I had.
“I don’t know,” I whisper, drawing away from him. I move for the balcony, keen to see the firefly field just once more before I go. But my thoughts are on his idea.
Something about it tickles an excitement in my chest, in my heartspace. Yet, the thought dizzies and terrifies me all the same.
Daein leaves me to think as I sit on the cushions on the balcony. I’m silent and still for a while. The carriage and Ember can wait. And, while I have a moment’s privacy, I pull out the letter again.
I read it once, twice, three times over. No more coded messages besides ‘sister’ that I can find. Though, I’m not exactly the brightest broken half-breed in the lands. So there could be more that I’m missing here.
Not to worry. She’s already made herself clear in what she called me in the note. I know she wants to investigate this further, bring me closer to her without Daein present, get me alone to peel away my secrets in better depths—or maybe reveal some hidden truths to me.
Sister—secrets that should not be known.
Pregnancy—another light in my life only to dim into disappointment?
Ensley—a daughter’s betrayal.
Daein—my husband who desperately tries to keep me content, failing always.
Concubine—whatever reason Daein has to take Ember to Elden as a short-term gift.
Too much weighs down my mind. So I am generous with a couple of fruit slices from the bowl before I head back into the bedchamber, finding Daein sitting on the edge of the bed, patiently waiting for me.
Silently, he watches me, takes in my slack expression, seeing the numbness return to me. He says nothing but utters a soft sigh before he pushes up from the bed and advances on me.
His embrace is slight as he ghosts a tender kiss over my temple.
And with that, we are ready to leave the light lands.
I want to stay.
I want the light in the Wastelands to reach out to me again as we pass through the dark areas. All I want is the light.
But where, in this dark realm, is it to be found?
Perhaps within myself. Perhaps in the expansion of the light pillars.
Maybe the truth is, it will never be found again.
9
EMBER
Breaths as shaky as my hands, I clench my fists on my lap and sit as rigid as my fear will allow. It feels as though each of my muscles is bolted to my bones by iron nails, the metal searing through my entire body.
My luggage—meagre belongings I was allowed to take with me under Ocean’s furious watch—is a mere satchel bag tucked behind my stiff legs. I’ve never seen him like that before, silently fuming like a brewing volcanic eruption just waiting to happen. Ocean has always been kind and patient with me, yet it somehow felt as though he blamedmefor him gambling me away to a dokkalf.
A dokkalfprinceat that.
But, as I force my watery gaze from the carriage window and look ahead, I find the eyes of the dark fae’s pretty human wife watching me. She looks away, fast, finding her focus on her daughter who mopes beside me. I pay the brat little mind. I have my own worries to consume me.
Seeing April, meeting her eyes for just that split moment in the silent carriage, offered me something I didn’t have for the first half of this long, rocky journey to the dark lands. Hope. Is that what the slight warmth in my aching chest is? Hope?
I don’t know. I haven’t felt that emotion before. It seems very human.
Being a Halfling, I do suffer human traits at times. I mask them, of course. Yet I find it a difficult task to do that in this moment—my eyes suddenly spill tears that I have kept trapped there for many hours, and I turn back to face the window. I watch the light pillars flicker throughout the Wastelands as we move around them.
