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“Before you yell, the simple truth is I knew it’d be a fight if I waited on you, and I wanted to buy Lennon's school clothes.”
“It’s not right. It’s my responsibility to buy Lennon’s school clothes. That’s not why you asked to come along. I’ll–”
“Katie, stop. The way I look at it, this should fall on both of us to worry about. I figure I’m over seven years late. So, I’m asking you to give this to me because it’s something I want to do.”
“Jake…” she sighs, rubbing the side of her neck. She used to do that often when she was nervous or would get upset. I think I had forgotten that until now.
“Please, Katie, and you know how hard it is for me to beg.”
“You never beg,” she says, a ghost of a smile on her lips.
“I am now.”
“Okay, but from here out, we have to discuss these kinds of things, got it?”
“Got it,” I mutter, and for some strange reason, I have the urge to kiss her forehead. I don’t. I figure the only thing that would earn me is a swift kick between the legs. I clear my throatand look down at my son. “Thank you for today, Katie. It’s the best day I’ve had in a long time.” I feel a little exposed, but I’m driven to tell her that anyway. There’s something sad in her eyes that I don’t like, and for the life of me, I can’t figure it out, but even though I’m angry, I still want to make it better.
I figure I’m in dangerous territory because I watch her lips spread into a smile, and it’s the first one that has reached her eyes since I’ve been back in town. It makes their blue color deepen and sparkle. Something hits me. I don’t want to put a name to it, but my damn heartbeat kicks up a notch or two, and I feel this familiar pull toward her.
What the fuck?
The urge to reach over and pull her into my arms is so strong that, for a second, I’m afraid I’m having a stroke. That’s the only explanation I can find. To keep from making a fool of myself, I turn to look at Lennon.
“Are you ready for dinner, little man?”
“Yep! I want a cheeseburger Happy Meal.”
I wince and look over at Katie. “I was planning on taking you guys somewhere nice,” I explain.
Katie laughs. “Jake, I’m a mom to a seven-year-old who owns her own businessandtakes care of a sick parent. Anywhere is nice as long as I don’t have to cook.”
I think about what she just said. There’s a lot there to digest, and I don’t know why I never thought about it before, but Katie does have a lot on her plate. Hell, she’s living the life my mother did, and the life I never wanted. The life she chose over me. Automatically, my gaze moves back to Lennon. Maybe she was like my mother and felt she didn’t have a choice.
Which would mean I’m a fuck of a lot more like my father than I ever wanted to be.
“Looks like we’re going to Mickey D’s,” I tell Lennon, ignoring everything I’m feeling now and concentrating onmy child. Lennon and my relationship with him, are what’s important.
That’s it.
“Yay!” Lennon cheers, and we stand up and walk out with Katie to have a cheeseburger and fries.
CHAPTER 12
Jake
I walk over to the table where Katie and Lennon are waiting. I’m carrying the tray that’s full of our food, and it’s odd how good this feels. It shouldn’t, but it does. I chalk it up to the fact that it’s because of Lennon. I’ve never been a father. I suppose I’m still not, but I know I have a son now, and I’ll learn. There’s so much I don’t know, and I have no idea how this is going to work–but I know I need to try.
“Here we go.” Katie turns around to smile at me. As pretty as her smile is, it can’t hold a candle to Lennon—who is rubbing his hands together with happiness. I put the food down and take the seat opposite of the two of them. I watch as he and Katie talk to each other. It’s a scene that they’ve probably repeated a hundred times, if not more. Katie moves with ease as she takes out his cheeseburger, unwraps it, and then places the fries on the wrapper close to the burger. She places a little container of ketchup beside it. I take a drink of my Coke, and before I can begin unwrapping my own food, Lennon looks up as if he was just struck with an idea that will make him millions of dollars.
“I gotta poop!” he announces loudly. It shocks me so much that I nearly choke on my drink. I cough, trying to clear my throat, and then start laughing.
“Lennon, what have I told you? You use your inside voice.”
“Mom, I am inside,” Lennon argues, and I find myself laughing again.
Katie tries to give me a stern look, but she ends up rolling her eyes instead. “You know what I mean, young man,” she says with a smile that betrays her laughter. “Talk quieter.”
“Okay, but I got to go poop now, Mommy,” Lennon says in the form of a whisper that is still pretty loud, so much so that people around us begin to laugh–but then I still am, too.
