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“Jake? Is everything okay?” I ask once the door is open.
“Hey, Katie. I was wondering if you had time to talk?”
I look at him, and I see nothing to give away what’s on his mind, which is reason enough to make me nervous. Jake has always been larger than life, and lately, he feels like a loaded time bomb. I’m not sure how he can rip my life apart more than he already has, but I figure if anyone could, it would be him.
I hold the door open and step back, and when he walks in, I let it close, wondering why it sounds so loud when I do.
“What’s up?” I ask, trying not to notice how good he looks. He’s wearing his usual faded jeans and long-sleeved shirt with snaps up the front. Those shirts used to annoy me. They were just a reminder that he was a rodeo cowboy and that’s all he ever wanted to be or do. He has his Stetson in his hands, and that makes me worry. He rarely takes that damn thing off. It usedto shock me that he didn’t wear it when we were making love. There were times he asked me to…
I banish those memories. They are in the past, and if I could erase them from my memory, I would. Jake and I never had a problem when it came to making love—it’s the day to day that we just never saw the same way.
“I was hoping you would be willing to let Lennon come over to Mom’s for the weekend. I want some time with him, and I thought it would be a good time for him to get to know me better.
Nerves hit me full force. My immediate gut-check reaction is to say no. I don’t have a reason to say that, though. I know Lennon will be safe at Barb’s, and as angry as I get toward Jake, I know he wouldn’t purposefully endanger Lennon. Jake might have been an asshole as a boyfriend, but he’s a good man.
“Jake—”
“I know I’m new to Lennon, Katie. I even realize I’ve been a jerk when it comes to him, but you have to know that I care about him. I want a relationship with him, and I’m going to earn that. Mom will be there, too. I promise you he will be safe.”
“Jake, I—”
“You have to know how it kills me that I have to beg for time to get to know my son, but I’m here, and I’m doing that—”
“Jake, will you let me speak?” I mutter, interrupting him before he starts again.
His face tightens, but he gives me a nod.
“You can pick him up after five on Friday and keep him until Sunday. I just have two conditions,” I add when I see the surprise on his face.
“What’s that?”
“If he has homework, you make him get it done while he’s with you.”
“Do they have homework at that age?” Jake asks, obviously not believing me.
I smile despite feeling nervous and unsure of the decision that I’ve made. “You’d be surprised.”
“Okay, I’ll get him to do his homework.”
“Good, and I need you to bring him home around two Sunday. That way I have time with him before I get him ready for bed and school on Monday.”
“I can do that,” Jake agrees.
“If he needs me, you promise to call, right?”
“I promise.”
I nod, not sure what else to say. There’s a tenseness between us that wasn’t there when we took Lennon shopping, although that changed after I talked to Jeff. I’m not sure what’s different now, but it is, just the same.
“I’ll let you get back to work, then,” Jake says, a muscle flexing in his neck. When we were younger, that used to happen when he would get upset or pissed.
Is he mad at me?
That would explain why he’s been avoiding me when checking on Lennon this past week. I try to drum up the energy to care. I’ve done nothing for him to be pissed at. Even as I think that, I realize I’m lying. I kept Lennon a secret. Still, I came clean, and I didn’t really have to. He can’t act like he hasn’t had chances to get to know Lennon before now.
Jeff specifically told him about Lennon when he and I broke up the first time. Then, because I was going to and he didn’t want me to talk to Jake alone, he approached him again when we decided to get married. Jake’s had chances, so honestly, he can take his anger and stick it up his ass.
“Anything else?” I finally ask when it appears that he’s not going to leave.
