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“Maybe. I’m not sure anything either one of us could say would change a damn thing.” Reed doesn’t respond, but then, there’s not a lot he can say. “You and Callie look happy,” I finally respond, not wanting the awkwardness between the two of us but unable to figure out how to change anything. I’m also wondering why I even try. He helped keep my son from me.
Fuck, life just keeps being complicated.
“We are,” Reed says, the words practically hum with contentment.
I shake my head. I’ve adored Katie forever. She was the woman who taught me about love. Hell, she’s the only woman I’ve ever loved, but when we broke up, I didn’t stop living. Reed? Without Callie, he stopped. For him, it was always her, and without her, he only half existed. I’m glad they found their way back to one another. I truly am. I’m even more than a little envious. At the same time, he always made me feel like I was lacking. I chose my dreams over a woman who wouldn’t travel and live those dreams with me. Reed? He got what millions of people can only dream of, and he would have given it all up for Callie. Hell, he’s basically pushed his career as the hottest country music star around to the sidelines to be here with Callie and build a life with her—and he’s happy as hell about it. I look at Katie and Lennon, and I’m filled with regret, but would I have changed everything for them? I would have tried like hell to take them along with me. To build a life like so many men I knew had—a life that Katie didn’t truly want. I would have tried to make sure she didn’t regret it, but I couldn’t give up my dreams for her.
I’m not Reed. He’s a better man than me—he always has been. I still would have tried with everything in me to be a good husband and father. As I watch Katie laughing, her hand gently combing through my son’s hair, in a home she loves, filled with memories of Miss Hazel, I know that probably wouldn’t have been enough. I’m wondering if it would be now. Things have changed. I’ve been on the circuit for a while. I have a name. I have money. I can dictate what events I take part in because I’m not after the prize as much anymore. Since hurting my shoulder, I’m not even in the running this year, and I miss it here and there, but the time off has been nice. Still, I know I’ll eventually go back on the circuit. How will Katie deal with that if I try to have a relationship with her?
Can we make it work this time?
Fuck if that’s not the million-dollar question.
“I’m happy for you, Reed,” I answer honestly, bringing my attention back to the conversation at hand. Anything else I’m thinking is for later—much later.
“What’s going on with you and Katie?” he asks, and I knew the question was coming.
I rub my thumb against the knuckle of my index finger and count backwards from ten. It’s silly, but it’s a trick I learned when I was waiting for the buzzer and the gate to shoot open when I was riding. It helps to clear my mind and dissolve the thoughts that threaten to consume me when they shouldn’t.
“Nothing. We’re working together so that I can get to know my son. That’s it.”
“It sure seems like the spark is still there,” Reed baits me.
I shrug. I’m not going to deny it. I’m many things, but I’m not a liar. The spark is still there. Instead, I counter with the truth. “She was just about to marry my brother. She loves him.” God, those words are bitter on my tongue.
“Love is a strange thing, Jake. You can love someone and still have to keep moving. You might even find someone you feel you could be happy with and love—but love will always be different. Yet, if it’s the right person, that love never fades. It’s always there waiting to catch fire again.”
“Says the man that never moved on from his first love,” I laugh, knowing he’s full of shit.
“I never did,” he admits. “That doesn’t mean there weren’t relationships, and one woman that I’m sure I could have loved. The thing is, as wonderful as that woman was, she’s married with a kid now, and though her man might be a dick to me at times, I can tell they’re meant to be together—just like Callie and I are.”
I can admit to being surprised that Reed even looked at another woman. We’d fallen into the habit of not keeping in touch over the years because our careers took us in different directions, but I never saw him with another woman. The fact that there was someone even in the running is shocking. Still, his life is not mine. “Let it go, Reed.”
“I’m just going to say that I love Jeff, but you and Katie have a connection that lights up the room. You may be too stubborn to admit it, but don’t let a second chance pass you by, Jake. If you still love her and you want to fight to be with your family, then do it.”
“And what about my brother?”
“I think the fact he’s not here, fighting for his spot in their life, is enough reason for you to step up to the plate.”
“I think this might be something for you to stay out of. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m trying to concentrate on Lennon, and right now, that’s all I can do,” I tell him, keeping my voice down so that Katie can’t hear.
“I’ll stay out of it, but I don’t mind telling you that I am hoping you make this work.”
“Do you know your problem, Reed?”
“What’s that?” he asks, his gaze traveling over to Callie. As if she can feel his eyes on her, she looks up and gives him a smile, and I look back at my buddy to see his grin spread.Jesus.
“You’re a hopeless romantic,” I mutter, disgusted.
He laughs. “Yeah, well, if you had the life I have right now, you would be too,” he responds, and I find myself turning to look at Katie. She’s looking at me, and when our eyes meet, she gives me a tight smile, her cheeks filling with color.
“I guess I would,” I murmur under my breath. Reed doesn’t hear me. He’s already walking over to Callie. I didn’t mean for him to anyway. I’m too busy wondering if I could ever make Katie smile at me the way Callie is at Reed right now.
What the fuck am I doing?
CHAPTER 19
Katie
