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My father laughs, straight up laughs, and I feel the need to shrink back a little. What is so fucking funny? “I am not here to rescue you, Milaya,” he informs me, and suddenly I want to punch him, father or not. It's not like he is acting very fatherly right now.
I think Anton can feel me tense because he tightened his hold on my body so I can’t move at all. I really shouldn't be leaning on my captor as a crutch when my father is here. I thought it would be the other way around, but there I go again, giving men too much credit. “Then why have you come exactly?” I asked as coolly I can manage, though I bet he hears my thinly veiled anger.
“I am here to first remind Anton of what will happen if he steps out of line.” My father trails off and gazes deeply into Anton’s dark eyes. I have seen this look before a few times. I have seen my father scare the shit out of men with that look, Anton stands strong and tall against it, challenging him with his own stare and then a nod. He understands, though I am not sure I do. What kind of deal do these two have that I don't know about? I hate secrets, and it looks like I am about to find out about another one.
“I am also here to congratulate the both of you on your impending union.” There is a glint in his eyes as he says it and a broad smile, a genuine one. Katya smiles widely next to him, leaning against my father. It takes me a minute to register what he means by the word union. He uses such antiquated language. Then, it hits me, union, he means like marriage, engagement, being together, saying vows, and all of that shit. What the fuck is going on here?
I can feel my cheeks turning red with the ferocity of my anger. I can’t believe this man has been gone for so long, knows that I was not only in trouble with one man, but then lost my uncle just to get kidnapped by another, and he shows up just in time to tell me who I am marrying. I don't like this one damn bit, and I pull away from Anton’s hold. I am not dumb enough to think he doesn't have at least a little to do with this.
I begin to go off on him in Russian. I want him to understand how he has hurt me, how he has miserably failed as a father all of this time. Sure, I may be safe with Anton now, or for the time being, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have sued my father at any point, actually acting like my father. Jan was great, but that wasn’t his job. My father has never been there when I need him or when he should be, and it’s just pouring out of me right now. I am so fucking furious, and I am surprised Anton is not stopping him.
“What do you mean that you aren’t here to save me?” I ask him, yelling at him now. “I do not understand how you could have nothing after you heard whatever rumors Rusev told you about what was going on and not come for me. You didn’t call and check on me, nothing. Why would you not be here to make sure that your daughter is okay?” I continue to screech. I know I am going to regret this little fit later, but he missed so many when I was a kid, maybe he should get it all from me now. “And what the hell do you mean about me and Anton being engaged?”
Choosing English over Russian, probably just to piss me off and make it clear that he would rather address Anton than me, he answers me, and I do not like what he has to say. “This arrangement…” he says, looking back and forth between the two of us, and I roll my eyes at the word. That is not what an engagement is supposed to be. “Is beneficial for me, and for Anton as well. Why would I ruin a good business relationship over a rumor I was certain was not true? As for Jan, they say he did something unforgivable, I can’t help that,” he says, acting completely innocent, though he is far from it. Not to mention, hasn’t this man done unforgivable things himself? He is one to talk.
Of course, he is always worried about business. I roll my eyes at him again and decide to say nothing else. It's just going to make this worse. At this point, he might as well leave and never come back. Even if I did have a wedding, I am unsure that I would want him to be there.
“Your father and I have been discussing our union privately,” Anton says, coming up to me and trying to put his arm around me again, but I shrug it off. This is not going to diffuse the situation, and I hope he knows that. I don't know which one of these men I am angrier at now. Why would Anton not at least talk to me about this? I get that my father is a powerful man and marrying his daughter without his permission could be scary. I also know Anton could stand to gain from this, even if he does have feelings for me, why not get benefits? But I should be a part of the conversation. We were nearly okay again, and he goes off and does this?
No, he had to go speak to my father behind my back, though. Who is the one committing the bigger sin here; the man who was supposed to protect me as long as I lived, or the man that just swore to protect me against every threat? I would call this whole thing a threat, forcing me into something I do not know if I am ready for, and without a proper proposal or anything. We haven't even said those three words to each other yet,
I turn around and glare at Anton so that he knows what he has done. He has made this even harder, yet again. “Well, it sounds like the two of you have a ton of business to talk about, so don't let little old me get in the way,” I say with a lot of venom before crossing my arms and walking away. I don't need this right now. I don't need my father here if he is not truly even interested in seeing me.
I go to my bedroom and sit on my bed, half expecting one of them to follow me in here, Anton if no one else, but he doesn't show up. I guess they are too busy talking about me and my future yet again, completely without me.
I put my head in my hands and sigh after yet another man in my life has hurt me. Anton is going to atone for this later, or at least try to, but I don't think my father ever can. I don't think he even knows how to be a father, and he doesn't even want to try. It's too late now, anyway. I am a grown woman with scars, inside and out. Maybe I never needed a father. I just needed to learn to rely on myself.
