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Chapter Twenty-Seven
Duncan
“We need to talk about that appointment,” Willow says as soon as we make it inside the apartment Ion had prepared for us. Her voice is oddly mechanical, and I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. I don’t know the details of the horrors that were done to her during her time with Felix, but I do know it was no pony ride. I know that she is likely traumatized, but I worry about permanent damage; emotionally and physically.
I sit down with her on the couch and order the men to scatter. I wouldn’t normally overstep her authority, but at this point, I don’t think she is in the right mindset to give any orders, to even think about it.
I place my hand over hers for comfort. She accepts it, but won’t look at me. “What happened? Whatever it is, you can tell me. No matter what damage is done, I will still love you. After all, who else is going to love a cocky shit like me?” I tease, trying to raise her spirits, but I can see something now below the surface. She is practically shaking right now, and I need to know why.
“I am pregnant, Duncan. When they checked me, they found out,” she says.
My heart swells. I didn’t know until this moment how I might feel about such a thing, but I quickly realize that it is a blessing, A child with the woman I love? Why wouldn’t I want that? “Willow, there is no reason to worry about this. I am so happy to hear that!” I tell her, hoping to get through to her that she doesn’t have to be concerned. And I know it must be mine, even if Felix had his way with her, she wouldn’t know yet. And this means that he couldn’t have gotten her pregnant while she was there. It has to be the light in the darkness here, but she is not reacting.
“Willow, is something wrong with you or the baby? Are the doctors concerned?” I ask her, my heart skipping a beat. I have to prepared for anything because I can’t fall apart if something is wrong. I have to be there for her. She has already endured so much.
“The baby is fine, Duncan, I just don’t know if I want it,” she says suddenly, looking at me. I can’t read her expression at all, and she is usually so emotive. I have no idea what’s wrong or what’s running through her head., But it makes me wonder why. If it has to do with being my child. I know it’s a paranoid notion, but I also do not deserve her.
"Why don’t you want our baby?" I ask her, knowing how needy and insecure I sound. I hate it. I don’t want to be like this, and I am not. "Sorry," I say instantly before she can respond. "Please, help me understand."
She sighs, and she slumps forward, her head in her hands. "I don’t want to bring a child into this world to force into this life the way I was. I don’t want to put that burden on someone I would love. I can’t wish it on anyone, and having a baby would be knowingly and purposefully doing that," she tells me.
I run my hand through my hair, unsure of what to say, She’s got me there. Even if the child grows up knowing everything and prepared, it is still something they have little to no say in, especially considering neither of us have any family to speak of that could take that child’s place to rule Clan Adame. Not to mention that I doubt they would accept any of my kin anyway. It would have to be straight from her, and all her siblings are dead. That means her child or no one.
"I don’t know what to say about that." I rub her back in support. "But you might be able to make a change, make it better. I can’t say what the future holds, but I don’t know if we should deny ourselves this child based on the clans alone. They have too much control already.
Willow nods and speaks again. "But what if I am like my father? I can’t let this child be neglected like I was." She begins to cry, and I have never seen her this way before.
I shake my head. "This proves you will not be a thing like him. Your heart is too big. You worry already about the life this unborn, unnamed child will have," I assure her. But I can see by how distraught she is, my words do little to ease the pain and anxiety over this. I am not going to be able to fix this feeling in a day.
"I miss my old life, Duncan. This child would be safe and happy there. I wish we could go back," she cries, falling into my lap. And I stroke her hair until she falls asleep.
I know that I am going to have to do something big to save this, I just do not know what.
