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Chapter 14
Bethany
I frown as I notice a spit of blood on the toilet paper. It is kind of pinkish but darker than what I would expect from typical spotting. On top of the fact that for the last two days I have been feeling not myself, I am not sure what to think of it.
I get up and flush, my mind preoccupied with my symptoms.
I have been crampy and just generally uncomfortable, opting to stay in bed or hang around the house and watch TV most of the time as I wait for the next semester to start for college so that I can start going and get done, finally achieving my Doctorate degree.
Now that I think of it, though, I have missed my period.
I pull up my calendar to check. I am usually good at marking it off and keeping track, but with trying to get back on track with college and all the stress in my life since I left Noah, I haven’t been so good about it. But I can clearly see I have not had a period in too long now, and I begin to wonder if these could be symptoms of pregnancy.
A quick Google search lets me know my symptoms could mean lots pf things or absolutely nothing, but pregnancy is for sure at the top of the list.
At the thought, a warm feeling eve,ps me, and I let it sink in for a moment, not letting any judgments pass until I can wrap my head around this.
If I am pregnant, it would have to be Leon’s. Noah had been supposedly too busy with his job and trying to get DA that he and I had not been intimate in a whole. And it's been about 4 weeks since Leon and I had sex, so it would make sense.
It is interesting that it is not bother me, and in fact it feels like it could be a happy thing. I was so interested in pushing Leon away and having him give me space before, but now that think of it, he has been so kind. I know that so many people, my therapist included has told me to take things slow, but a baby could change that. And yet, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. he has been so kind to me, and I deserve something happy in my life, even if it is unexpected and maybe a little overwhelming. besides, if I am pregnant, I will have so many months to get used to the idea of being a mother and being with Leon. And if I really go hard on the coursework, I will easily be done with my degree by then as well.
I get back on the net and find a local clinic to go to that isn’t too far from him. It’s a full service office inside a hospital, which is best because it means they will be able to test and even do imaging if that is necessary. I only know a little about this, which is strange since I am a woman, but it’s almost like the whole having a baby process is shrouded in mystery until you actually go through it.
I quickly call and am glad that they have an opening to squeeze me onto today. it feels almost like it is meant to b. I just have to be there in half an hour.
I don’t feel the need to dress sup for the occasion, so I slip on a cute track suit that’s pink and black and pull in my sunglasses, hopping over to the main house to get one of the drivers to take me.
On the way I watch my phone for messages from Leon instinctively but don’t see any, he must be busy, though he has warned me a few times hit week m might be a busy one for him, so I let it go on the only ten mute ride to the state of the art private hospital that is really close by. It so where Natasha had Simion. I know that because I was supposed to be there, and so that feels safe to me.
Every moment that passes as I wait, first to do paperwork, then to be called back, and then to get my results is excruciating I am anxious to know so I can start planning. That’s the fun part, right? Planning for a baby? The room, all the toys and clothes you want, the names... And the idea of doing it with Leon versus with someone like Noah who would try to control the whole thing feels comforting, though a little strange considering we are still a bit in the friend zone right now. though, I did promise him that date.
"Bethany?" the doctor finally walks into the room with her chat in hand and gives me one of those smiles doctors always do whether the news is good bad or inconclusive. Sometimes I wonder if it’s part of their studies. I always hated that I can’t read them.
"So, what’s the verdict/" I ask.
"Well, it looks like you are not pregnant. And with your symptoms, I worry something else may be going on. Out of precaution, I suggest we do a pap smear and an ultrasound to see what could be happening. It may be nothing, but I think with these things its best to eb on the safe side."
I feel like a bucket of ice water has just been dumped over my head with the news. here I had been, planning out how this would go with Leon, dating him for nine months as we planned for a baby, and I wasn’t even pregnant. on top of that, they thought something was wrong? What could be wrong? I don’t even know of any family history of reproductive issues, so I am really thrown for a loop.
"I know this can be hard to hear. Would you like to think on it for a few days?"
"No," I say instantly. "I am just in shock, but I don’t want to gamble with my health. Let’s do the eats."
"Of course."
She instantly calls in a nurse who brings in all the equipment for both tests, and I am soon laid back with my feet in the stirrups, a gown on, and an ultrasound machine at the ready to my right. I had hoped to come here and get to sue one of those to see a tiny life growing inside of me, but now, I don’t know what could be in there wreaking havoc, and I am suddenly regretting having come all alone.
"So, I am just going to do a normal pap, it will be super quick, a nd then the ultrasound will take some pictures of your ovaries and uterus to let the etch look at. We'll be able to get you results within 48 so you don’t have to fret too long. Hopefully, everything turns out to be alright. These things happen all the time."
her voice is cheery, but I just sink into a wall of confusion as they do the tests, knowing that I will be facing this back at the guest house alone, unless I want to talk with the staff. Natasha is visiting her mother today and tomorrow, and Anton isn’t exactly who I want to reach out to about this.
I don’t know why, but I instantly think of Leon.
