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I’m trying my hardest to hold back my tears, but one betrays me and sneaks past my walls. I quickly wipe it away.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m probably wrong, anyway. It’s not like I can read his mind.”
“You haven’t upset me,” I correct. “You’re the only person who has given me an answer I understand. The doctors keep treading lightly around me, telling me these things take time, but I can see it in their eyes. I know they believe his chances aren’t good. And deep down, so do I.” Looking down at my engagement ring, I can’t help but feel cheated.
“Hey, don’t talk like that.” The seat creaks as he rises and walks over to me. He crouches down in front of me when I lower my eyes. “I believe that Samuelwillwake up. He’s too stubborn not to. You’ve just got to have faith.”
When he kindly strokes over my thigh, I glance up, taken aback that Saxon is so…nice. I never doubted that he was nice; I just never realized he was so…intuitive. “You’re a good guy, Saxon.”
He grins, a dimple hugging his left cheek. “Depends on who you talk to.”
No guessing who.
His hand is still on my leg, stroking me, and it feels nice. Comforting.
“Saxon?” a stunned voice sounds from the doorway. It appears he has that reaction on everyone.
Piper doesn’t hide her shock to see him crouched by my feet, stroking my leg. She’s met the Saxon we thought we knew, and that Saxon wouldn’t be consoling me, telling me to have faith.
He quickly removes his hand and turns his head towards the door. It takes him a second, but he remembers my best friend. “Hey…Piper.” He stands, his towering height dwarfing mine.
“Hey yourself,” she replies, making no secret she’s checking him out. Piper had a major crush on Saxon when we were growing up, but he either didn’t notice, or he simply didn’t care.
I too rise, rolling my eyes at my friend’s lack of shame. “Did you bring me something good to eat?” I ask, peering at the brown paper bag she holds.
Her gaze is still entwined with Saxon’s as she replies, “Ah, yeah. I got you some bear claws, donuts, and other unhealthy, sugar-filled goodies.” She tosses the bag my way, not caring if I catch it or not.
As strange as this sounds, Piper making puppy dog eyes at Saxon makes me feel a touch better. I’ve been surrounded by tears and gloom all week; it’s nice to have some normality. If what Saxon says is true, I’ll be here for the long haul. To avoid being admitted into the bed beside Samuel, I’ve got to stay connected to the real world and not lose my grip on reality. And at the moment, my reality is my best friend brazenly flirting.
When we were younger, she said it was her dream to marry Saxon because a) he was gorgeous and b) it would make us sister-in-laws. Looks like she’s still dreaming.
“How long are you staying?” Piper asks, subtly pulling out her messy pigtails.
Saxon looks over at me briefly while I hold my breath. “I’m not too sure. I’ll probably head back in a couple of days.”
Couple of days? I hide my disappointment by sticking my head in the bag and retrieving the biggest bear claw in there.
“Where are you staying?”
“Um, with Lucy,” he uncomfortably replies.
I tear into the sweet pastry, wondering why staying with me would make him feel uneasy.
“Oh, cool. Maybe I’ll swing by one night.”
Piper better make it one night soon, seeing as Saxon has no intention of staying. I can’t believe he’s actually leaving. After my confession yesterday, I thought he’d at least stay a week, maybe two. But it appears I was wrong about him. He doesn’t care.
As I shovel half the claw into my mouth, I almost gag on it when Kellie and Gregory stroll through the door. Neither hide their surprise at seeing Saxon.
Kellie brushes past Saxon and Piper and gives me a big hug. My cheeks are puffed out as I try and swallow down my mouthful of food. “How is he?” she asks, rubbing my back.
I don’t know why but once again, Kellie is grating on my nerves. Her soft, sorrow-filled tone reminds me where I am, and that Sam’s progress is still nada. Of course I’ll never forget, but being reminded 24/7 makes everything so much harder to digest.
“No change, Kellie,” I reply into her shoulder once I’ve finished chewing. She lets out a strangled sob.
I subtly pull out of her grip, my gaze fixing on Sam. His strong jaw line is coated with a dark, five o’clock shadow, which is quite unusual for him, seeing as he’s almost always clean shaven. I know it’s only been a few days, but his face looks thinner, and his skin has a waxen, lifeless appearance. I don’t want to admit it, but before long, I know he’ll begin deteriorating before my eyes. My strong Sam will be a shell of who he once was.
These thoughts are giving me emotional whiplash, and I don’t know how much longer I can deal.
