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My plea sends Saxon into a fury as he pushes off the wall. “Why should I stay, Lucy? Tell me, what has he—what have any of them done for me? I’m not the son my mother can proudly boast about to her country club socialite friends. I never have been. I’m a disappointment to my father because I refuse to allow him to control my life, and my brother…” He chuckles, but it’s not a pleasant sound. “My brother is a stranger to me.”
His rage has me reining in my anger because underneath his wrath, I can hear his pain. “I’m not here to apologize for any of them or their behavior. How they’ve excluded you over the years was wrong, but you’ve hardly made an effort, either. It’s a two-way street.”
He resembles an angry bull as his nostrils flare and he huffs raucously.
“But I’m here to beg for your compassion because I know you wouldn’t let your brother suffer if you knew you could help him. If you knew that the simple gesture of you just being here by his bedside would wake him up.”
“You don’t know that!” he yells, spreading his arms out wide.
“Yes, I do!” I shout back, jabbing my finger into his chest. I can be as stubborn and as headstrong as he is.
Piper yanks on my arm, sensing my frustration. “Luce, c’mon, let it go.”
But I’m not going anywhere. “I know that underneath your hard exterior lies a good man. I know that because I’ve seen it. You being here proves it.”
“It proves nothing!” he retorts, leaning down, trapping me with his glare. His angry breaths fan out the wisps of silken hair around his face. “I told you, I was here to do my bit, and then I was out of here! I never made any false promises. You knew where I stood.”
“Why?” I cry, shoving at his chest with both hands. “What has he done that’s so bad that you won’t stay? He’s your brother!” I’m hysterical by this stage. This outburst is so unlike me, but nothing can stop me.
“Not by choice,” he spits, his lip curling. “He may wear my face and share my DNA, but we’re nothing, nothing alike.”
“I know you feel something for him, Saxon. You told me so today. You told me you can feel him, that you share a connection.” My fire is slowly fading, I can smell defeat.
“I also told you that I couldn’t feel him, so if what the doctor is saying is true, we share no connection at all. He’s dead to me, Lucy!” He grabs my wrist and slams it over his galloping heart. “I…feel…nothing!” He lifts my hand and violently strikes it against his chest between each jagged breath he takes. I suddenly realize he’s no longer talking about Samuel, but rather, himself.
He won’t surrender. He would rather let some bullshit feud get in the way of doing what’s right. “Just go,” I say, sniffing back my tears as I yank my hand out from under his.
The air is sizzling with a palpable tension, and if he doesn’t leave, I won’t be held accountable for my actions.
He starts, “I’m—”
But I cut him off. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. I don’t want your apologies. They mean nothing.”
His heavy sigh is weighed down like a lead balloon, but he’s chosen to keep sinking, not accepting any help.
“If only you knew the whole story, Lucy, you’d understand.” But I’m past caring. “You want me to stay and see my brother get better, but where does that leave me afterwards? You all return to your happy, perfect lives, while I go back to what?”
I can’t answer that for him.
His exasperated huff slices at my resolve, but I won’t back down.
“Just go, Saxon.” I turn my back, shaking my head in disappointment. Piper’s lips dip into a sympathetic frown.
After a moment, Saxon’s heavy footsteps grow quieter and quieter, indicating he’s respected my wishes— he’s gone.
* * * * *
I’m absolutely exhausted and it’s only one o’clock. The moment we round the corner, Kellie yelps and comes charging towards us.
I look behind, fearing Saxon has followed us, but I see he’s not there.
“Where’s Saxon?” she cries. I scrunch up my nose, not sure why she would want to see him.
“He left,” Piper answers for me, while the burn of defeat chokes me.
“No! Where did he go?” She looks over my shoulder, moving her head from side to side to search between the crowds of people.
“I think he went back home, Kellie,” I reply, confused by her urgency.
