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Today is Valentine’s Day and I totally screwed it up.
Samuel and I have been dating for about five months. He’s been a complete gentleman, but tonight when things got a little heated in his pickup, I freaked out.
We were making out and it was nice. I love kissing Sam—I’d even go so far to say that he’s the best kisser in the world. Not that I have anything to compare it to. But either way, I never feel more cherished than I do when I’m in his arms.
He had his hand up my top and down my pants, which was okay, but when he tried slipping off my t-shirt, that’s when things were no longer okay. I haven’t told Sam about my scars. I’m embarrassed he’ll stop looking at me like I’m the most beautiful girl in the world.
I know that’s silly—Sam isn’t superficial that way, but I guess in a way, I am. I hate that those scars still have an impact on me. They remind me of everything I’m trying so hard to forget.
11:46 p.m.
I’m utterly in love with Samuel Stone. And it’s now official!
I’ve just crept back upstairs after Sam texted me and asked I meet him around the corner from my house. Mom and Dad were asleep, so I snuck out, risking them waking, as opposed to me wondering why Sam wanted to meet in the dead of night.
I was so frightened he was going to call it off, but he surprised me when he pulled me into his arms and apologized for being so pushy. I explained there were things about my past which I wasn’t ready to deal with, and he didn’t push. He told me that whenever I was ready to talk, he was ready to listen.
A surge of confidence enveloped me and I reached for Sam’s hand, allowing him to feel, rather than me telling him why I was so afraid. His eyes widened and for a moment, I was terrified he was repulsed by my deformity. But seconds later, as his fingers rubbed over the ridges, he declared, “I love you, Lucy, scars and all.”
It was the first time he told me he loved me, and it was the best feeling in the world.
Eleven
The next morning, I’m sittingat my kitchen counter, nursing my second cup of coffee. It’s black thanks to Saxon drinking all the milk and putting the empty carton back into the fridge, giving the illusion we had milk—one of his many habits I’ve grown to accept.
I slept like utter crap, and have no doubt my unruly appearance reflects it. Sophia is due to be here at ten, but honestly, I don’t even know if Sam will see her. I used to be able to read him like a book. But now, he may as well be written in Chinese.
“Hello? Anyone home? I bear gifts of the food kind.” Piper’s happy voice lifts my spirits and I unlatch the backdoor.
The moment she sees me, she frowns. “What’s wrong, Luce?”
Looking down at her tray of Krispy Kremes, I reach for them and sigh. “Let’s talk about this while I overdose on sugar.”
She doesn’t argue.
I pour her a cup of coffee while she hops up onto the counter, watching me closely. “So, spill. What happened? I thought I’d come over and you’d be floating in a post-coitus bubble.”
I scoff, passing her some coffee. “Hardly. The only coitus was Sam screwing me over by stealing my car, being MIA for half the night, then showing up in a police car after being kicked out of a strip club, drunk and disorderly. Oh, and he lost my car.”
Piper’s mouth hangs open, a look of utter disbelief on her face. “No!”
“Yes,” I affirm. “I couldn’t make this stuff up.”
“This is messed up.”
“Tell me about it. Then I yelled at Saxon for no apparent reason other than the fact he’s Saxon,” I confess, slumping onto the stool and rummaging through the box of donuts. “When did my life turn to shit?”
Piper looks stunned, which makes me feel even worse. I need one of her wise ass cracks. I need her to tell me this is going to be okay. But she can’t. What she can offer me is some comic relief. “What a dickface. Where is he now?”
Tearing into my pastry, I reveal, “In the barn. Apparently he’d rather sleep beside our farm animals because they don’t talk back.”
“That fucking dickface!” she exclaims, slamming her mug onto the counter. “I get he’s having a hard time, but seriously, this is getting out of control. He’s making the old, smart ass Sam look like a saint.”
“I know.” I sigh, my mouth stuffed full. “Sophia is coming over at ten. Let’s hope she can try to find my fiancé under the layers of asshole he’s currently buried under because I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this bullshit. I’m trying to be patient, understanding, but enough is enough.”
As Piper’s mouth moves from side to side in contemplation, I’m almost afraid to ask what she’s thinking, but I suck it up and ask. “What, Pipe?”
“Your patience is unbelievable, and you deserve some kind of a medal for putting up with his crap, but what if he never remembers, Luce? What if he’s stuck being this gigantic dickhole forever? He was a little arrogant before, but this just takes it to another level.”
