AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I can feel his uncertainty when he lowers my feet to the ground. Even when I’m upright, he doesn’t remove his hands from my waist. The moonlight peeking in through the parted curtains basks us both in an ethereal glow, somehow adding to the magic of this night.
“Thank you.” My eyes droop to half mast as I fumble with the buttons on my shirt. I also feel like I’m wading through choppy waters as I sway from side to side. At this rate, I’ll get undressed by next week.
“Here…let me help you.”
Before I can protest, Saxon’s warm fingers overlap mine and he begins unbuttoning my shirt slowly. This is wrong, and so unlike me, but the need to crawl into bed and sleep overrides my modesty. His harsh breathing fills the still room. His face is hard, his jaw clenched.
I watch through a hazy cloud as each button pops free, revealing more and more of my skin. My flesh heats, part embarrassment, and part in craving. It’s been so long since someone has touched me so intimately, I long for more.
Once my buttons are undone, Saxon slips the shirt from my shoulders, disrobing me as it falls to the floor. His chest rises and falls, making no secret of his thoughts as his gaze lingers on my chest. I have on a plain black bra, but the way Saxon is looking at me, I feel like I’m naked.
He swallows before dropping to his knees before me. The gesture for some reason warms my heart and I can’t help but smile. He makes his intentions clear as he secures a hand behind my calf, indicating he’s going to take off my boots. Placing one hand on his shoulder for balance, I lift my leg and watch in appreciation as his bicep flexes when taking off each boot.
I’m now standing barefoot and topless with Saxon still on his knees. He’s looking up at me with nothing but admiration and I feel…beautiful.
He points to my shorts, timidly, asking permission. “Your, um, shorts.”
I know I shouldn’t, but I nod, lost in this moment between us.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows nervously before reaching forward. Looking up at me from under his long lashes, he unsnaps the button on my shorts. He stops, his hands singeing my flesh as they rest at my waist. He waits, again seeking consent if it’s okay he goes on. God strike me down, I nod.
The heat from his fingers sends a charge throughout my body as he slowly unfastens my zipper and slides the denim down my legs. As they pool at my feet, I step out of them, feeling beautifully wicked.
Saxon is still on his knees, surrendering. I don’t know why I feel that way, but his torn features reveal he’s battling an inner war. Finally standing, I feel even smaller and fragile in his presence, only clothed in my underwear and cowboy hat.
The room is spinning, but it’s not the alcohol. It’s Saxon.
Feeling ashamed for such feelings, I hurriedly toss my hat onto the floor and turn, forgetting something which I’m usually so guarded about.
Saxon’s gasp hints that he’s seen my deformity. “Lucy, who did that to you?” The anger in his voice scares me.
“No one, just…” But he’s on me in seconds, spinning me around so quickly, I almost fall.
“Who?” His hard eyes reveal he’s not going anywhere.
My lower lip trembles and tears prick my eyes. “Let’s just say before I was Lucy Tucker, I was a nobody.”
Saxon’s face falls and his lips dip into a saddened frown. “This happened when you were a kid?”
I nod sadly. “I’m adopted, Saxon. I’m not sure if Samuel ever told you, but I grew up in the system. I didn’t even have a name. I was just known as M.”
He loosens his grip around my bicep, but never breaks contact and for that, I’m glad.
Taking a walk down memory lane, I confess, “When I was four, I went to live with Nigel and Denise Martin. At first, I was excited to live in Hollywood. I mean, this is where dreams come true. But my dreams soon turned to nightmares when Nigel’s true nature emerged. He was a mean man with a rotten temper. Denise was too busy rubbing shoulders with her socialite friends to notice. Or maybe she just didn’t care. I still don’t know why they fostered me. Maybe they thought it would camouflage their true nature, as people would see their act as charitable and kind.
It started out with little things. Nigel slapping me on the wrist for making too much noise. Or yelling at me for dragging in dirt from the yard. I can’t really remember much else, just flashes of him not liking me very much. But that one night, in his study, it’s a memory I’ll never forget. It’s one that still haunts me to this day.”
I don’t know why I’m telling Saxon this. It’s not an easy memory for me to share. But I know he won’t judge me for something that wasn’t my fault.
“There was a room next door to mine which was always locked. I was too young to understand then, but later on I found out that Nigel and Denise had lost a daughter to SIDS. The maid forgot to lock the door and the inquisitive four-year-old me thought it would be cool to see what was inside. When I stepped inside, I thought I had stumbled upon a goldmine. The pink room had every toy imaginable locked inside. To a kid who had nothing, this was the ultimate jackpot. Looking back, it was an untouched time capsule, a shrine to the daughter they lost.”
Wiping my tears away with the back of my hand, I continue. “A teddy bear sitting alone on a rocking chair in the corner of the room caught my eye. He looked so sad, so lonely, kind of like me. I was so desperate for a friend. A stuffed bear was better than having no one at all. So I walked over, not understanding the consequences, and decided he was to be my new best friend. I still remember the feel of him, the smell. He was perfect. But our friendship was short-lived.
Nigel charged into the room, slapping me so hard across the cheek I lost two teeth. I’d been hit before, but never like this. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong. I was four. I tried to give Nigel the bear, apologizing for touching something that wasn’t mine. But it was too late. He grabbed me by the ponytail, ignoring my cries for help and dragged me over to the bed. He then threw me onto my stomach. I heard his belt being unbuckled.”
Saxon’s eyes turn murderous.
The near darkness makes my tale easier to tell. “I-I didn’t understand what he was doing, but he made his intentions clear when he yanked up my dress and slapped me so hard across the behind with his belt, tears stung my eyes. He made sure he used the buckle. I don’t know how many times he hit me. I’d passed out by strike number five, still clutching onto that teddy, needing someone to hold my hand.
