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Leaning forward, she brushes the hair from my face. “Follow your heart, honey.”
“My heart is torn, Mom. Right down the middle. I love Sam, I always will. But I don’t know who I am anymore.” I fall into her arms, sobbing.
She rubs my back, reassuring me that everything will be all right. “Love doesn’t make sense. Love happens when you least expect it. It’s inconvenient, messy, and reckless, but that’s the beauty of it. It isn’t a decision; it’s a promise—a promise to chase inconvenient, messy, and reckless love with someone who embraces the chaos with you.”
I continue crying, her wisdom cementing what I’ve known to be true. “Can I stay here tonight?”
“Honey, you can stay for as long as you like.” Settling into her arms, I close my eyes and allow sleep to overcome me. I can only hope when I wake, the chaos subsides and I can see through the confusion.
Twenty
My head feels clearer whenI wake. I even feel semi-human when I shower and sit at the counter and enjoy my cup of coffee.
Mom’s words were exactly what I needed to hear. Lovedoesn’tmake sense. It doesn’t make sense for me to love Saxon, but I think that I do. I thought I knew what love was. But when I met Saxon, he turned my beliefs upside down.
I know I can’t hide out here forever, but it’s nice to pretend that I can. Mom and Dad have gone to run a few errands, so I have the house to myself. My family home is a stunning, old-world style house set on five acres. After growing up in squalor, this home was a palace—my real life castle.
As I roam from room to room, still in awe of the arched walkways and barrel ceilings, I stop when a picture hanging off the feature wall in the family room catches my eye. It’s a photo of Sam and me at our engagement party. The day was perfect. Stroking over the glass, I smile, remembering how proud I was to be wearing his ring. Now, however, looking down at it, I feel foolish.
A car’s tires crunching over the gravel makes me walk to the bay window, wondering who it could be. When I see the red Chevy pickup, I do a double take, incredulous when I see Samuel emerging from inside.
What’s he doing here?
I want nothing more than to hide, but I’ve done enough of that. This problem isn’t going to solve itself and the sooner I try and walk through it, the better. Exhaling, I wait for Samuel to ring the doorbell before I answer the door. The moment I open it, I get hit with a serious case of the guilt’s.
He looks visibly upset, which is a nice change from looking visibly pissed off. “Hi.”
“Hi, Sam.” I lean against the doorway, trying my hardest to stay strong.
His sea green eyes peer up at me from under a black beanie, which is a new look for him. “Is everything okay? You didn’t come home last night.”
“I thought it was my turn to stay out all night,” I reply, directing my comment at him and Saxon.
He lowers his eyes. “Are you coming back?”
Am I?
Instead of answering, I cock my head to the side in interest. “How’d you get here?” I know he doesn’t remember, which can only mean one thing.
“Saxon is in the car.” I look over his shoulder and see Saxon sitting in the driver’s side. I’m surprised he agreed to drive Sam, seeing as he’s the reason why I’m here in the first place. “He’s worried about you, too.”
His comment has me scoffing, folding my arms defensively. “I highly doubt that. I know you can’t remember, but I’m sure my diaries alerted you to the fact that Saxon hated me. Not much has changed,” I add, unable to hide my sadness.
“There’s something I want to tell you, Lucy. I didn’t remember it; well, I didn’t think I did until the other day when you were so quick to jump to his defense.” He’s captured my full attention and I nod, silently beckoning him to go on.
“When I was in a coma, I was neither here nor there. I was floating. I could hear voices, sounds, but I couldn’t distinguish who they were, or where they were coming from. But there was one voice which I’d always recognize. It kept me grounded.”
“Saxon’s,” I whisper. He nods.
“All the days, hours, minutes, seconds—they all melded into one. But one night, my voice sounded back at me. It said I was to come back to you, Lucy. I didn’t know what that meant, but I now know my voice was Saxon’s, begging me to come back to you because you needed me.”
I cover my mouth with a trembling hand.
“The pain was so clear in his tone, I felt like maybe he was the one who had lost you. He said that you were a good person, and that I was to take care of you because he couldn’t. He cried. I’ve never heard my brother cry. And then, he was gone.”
Saxon went to talk to Samuel before coming to see me, knowing that I believed he was the key. He did that for me. Even though we fought and his family treated him like shit, he still did all of this for me.
Saxon brought both Sam and I back to life. He didn’t believe he could make a difference, but he did. He changed our lives forever.
