AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“That’s…that can’t be him,” I whisper in a faraway tenor, refusing to believe that the broken and bruised man lying in that bed is Saxon.
“We had to shave his head. There was extensive fluid on his brain, which we had to drain.” That would explain the bandages wrapped tightly around his head. “He broke five ribs and fractured his neck. This machine is helping him breathe.” I know there are far more injuries, but she’s sparing me the details. “All we can do now is hope and pray.”
“What?” I ask, almost awaking from a slumber. “There isn’t anything more you can do?” She pulls up the starchy blanket, tucking him in tight.
“Until he wakes, there isn’t much we can do. But he’s in the best hands. We’ve got the best head trauma unit in the country. You can sit with him.” I haven’t moved an inch, still rooted to the spot, utterly numb.
When she passes me, I recognize the look she wears—pity.
Long after she’s gone, I finally find my feet and stagger toward Saxon’s bedside. The closer I get, the more apparent his extensive injuries become. His face is battered and bruised, appearing swollen due to the breathing tube providing him life. His chest rises and falls steadily, but I know that’s thanks to the respirator.
He barely looks like the man I love with every inch of my heart, but when I reach his bedside, his colorful tattoos catch my eye. The gravity of what I’m seeing hits home, and I crumple into the chair, sobbing. I’m responsible for this. If only I’d fought harder…insisted he stay. Or if onlyI’dstayed.
This is what nightmares are made of, but I’ll never wake from this dream because this is real. Reaching for his hand, his cold, lifeless hand, I stroke my thumb over his grazed knuckles. Bringing his fingers to my lips, I kiss each one, remembering the way they loved me, caressing me any chance they got.
“Oh god. This is all my fault,” I cry quietly, his passivity cementing that he’s lost in a world I will never be able to save him from. “But I’m here now…and I promise, I’ll never leave your side again.” With tearful eyes, I examine the machines keeping him alive, hoping to see any signs of life. But all I see is Saxon slipping away from me. A hole is ripped through my heart, and I feel nothing but emptiness.
Shuffling forward, I gently place my ear to his chest, needing the fervent rhythm to block out this pain. His smell is long gone. A sharp medical tang replaces his familiar muskiness. “No,” I sob, crawling onto the bed and burying myself into the crook of his neck. I wrap my arms around his neck and inhale him into me, wishing I could breathe my life into him.
Underneath the bitterness, I can smell him. My love. My life. “I’m so…s-s-sorry,” I weep, holding on tighter with no intention of ever letting go. “Fight…please. Don’t let this be it. I never—” my chest trembles uncontrollably as I attempt to speak without breaking “—I never got a chance to tell you that I love you. That you’re it for me. You always have been. You have to wake up. I can’t do this without you. My heart isn’t just breaking…my entire body is. Please…come back to me.” I’m sobbing uncontrollably, holding Saxon as we lie side by side. “You’ve always protected me. So now, it’s my turn to protect you.”
“Will you take care of me?”
“Yes,” he replies after a drawn-out silence.
“You promise?” I know this can’t last forever, and I’m afraid.
He counters with so much emotion, his sincerity brings tears to my eyes. “Yes, I promise.”
“For how long?”
Pause… “For as long as you want me to.”
As I fall into a deep sleep, the word, “Forever,” replaces good night.
I remember those words as if they were only spoken yesterday.
“You promised me forever,” I whisper, rubbing my nose against the length of his neck. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to end.”
“Lucy?” For a split second, I allow myself to believe that my name slipped through the lips of my beloved, but I can’t pretend, it hurts too much.
“Hi, Sam.” I clutch Saxon, shuffling closer so we’re pressed together snugly. I don’t care that I resemble a madwoman. Touching Saxon to ensure he’s real is all that matters.
“When did you arrive?” he asks. I can hear him entering the room.
“Just a few minutes ago.”
The bed dips, indicating Sam has taken a seat. “Did you see his doctor?”
“Yes.” I close my eyes.
The silence is drawn, Sam most likely figuring out what to say. But there isn’t anything he can say. Even when he was in the same position Saxon is, I had hope. Now, all I’m left with is this insufferable pain siphoning off my air supply.
“Any change?”
“No. He’s still unresponsive. Do you know any other details? I know he was run off the road.” The similarities to Sam are uncanny, but why does this feel far more gruesome?
“Not really. His workmates have been in and out. They said he left without a word…but wherever he was going, he was in a rush to get there.” This small shred of information only stirs more questions than answers. What was he doing? Where was he going?
