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Saxon nods, his long hair slipping forward to mask his face. “Yes. I kept to myself because what was the point of making friends. I’d eventually have to tell them what I did, and that’s not exactly a selling point. I also felt undeserving after everything I did. Being alone was just easier.”
His pain hurts more than I thought humanly possible, so I walk forward at a measured pace, wanting him to know I’m here, just as he has been for me. “It wasn’t your fault. Just how being beaten wasn’t mine.” Each scar on my body aches, a painful reminder of what I endured to become the person I am today.
My admission has Saxon lifting his head, the memory of what I told him of my childhood still slashing him raw. “I didn’t tell you because this memory…it takes me to a very dark place. I’m so ashamed of what I did.” He stands before me unguarded, and it has me loving him even more.
I understand his shame and guilt all too well. Being Baby M haunts me every day, as do my scars. I know the answer, but I ask anyway. “Have you spoken to anyone? About what happened?”
He laughs, but the sound is anything but pleasant. “And taint the Stone name even further? I don’t think so.”
Something which can only be described as a miracle suddenly happens. I peer over at the bed, where an open journal sits. To most, this innocent sight wouldn’t mean a thing, but to me, it’s just confirmation of my choice. Saxon and I are truly two fractured halves that have finally become one. “That’s why you write in your journals?”
He nods once. “It’s my way of talking, of unloading my sins and never being judged for what I did.” He has summed up every single word I’ve written. “You’ve always been my light, Lucy. You always saw the bright side of everything. That is so refreshing when you’re constantly cloaked in darkness.” A single tear traces a path down his cheek, which is my undoing.
Unable to stand the distance between us a moment longer, I charge forward and throw myself into his arms. I bury myself deeper than I’ve ever burrowed before because this has just heightened what I thought I felt for this man.
I don’t just love Saxon. It’s clear to me that his love has always roared louder than my demons. And it appears I’ve done the same for him. “No matter how bad your memories, it’s still your history. It’s your legacy. You should write it down. This way, you can always look back and remember that you survived. You lived.” These words are ones he said to me—ones I’ve lived by.
He slowly wraps his arms around me, appearing to savor each second. I think he really thought he’d never experience this again. “You’re not a murderer. You’re a survivor. We both are. What happened was an accident. You were just a kid, and you wanted to do the right thing.” I nestle into his chest, my heart weeping when he trembles in my arms. “For someone who was taught not to feel…you sure as hell have made me feel un-fucking-believable. Every minute I’ve spent with you has been a true miracle. I love you, Saxon Stone.”
He presses his cheek atop my head and sighs, the sound appearing to lift something heavy from his soul. “You’re the only person who has ever made me feel…good. I don’t deserve you. But I want you…so much. It’s like I can finally breathe again with you in my arms.”
How can one not fall deeper in love with the man who professes such heartfelt confessions?
“So many times, I wanted to tell you it was me, but I guess, deep down, I felt Sam would be the better man. He doesn’t have the bullshit past I do. I’m not perfect, Lucy.” Why he didn’t tell me now makes sense. He felt undeserving, and in a way, I think he believed he was doing me a favor.
“I don’t want perfect,” I state, slowly pulling from his embrace. Placing a hand on his cheek, I run my fingers over his scruff. He leans into my touch with an echo of a moan.
I’m witness to another miracle—a smile.
A lopsided smirk tugs at Saxon’s supple lips, and it’s my light in the storm. “I promise…that’s the last of my secrets. If you still want me…” He places his palm over mine, the warmth sending goose bumps from head to toe. “Then I’m yours.”
The static is setting me alight, my body desperate to feel his naked flesh pressed to mine. “I want you,” I candidly confess because it’s true. “Do you want me?”
My question catches him off guard, but I need to know. He has baggage, but so do I. This will be anything but perfect, but our imperfection is all I crave.
He’s silent, which suddenly makes me nervous. He appears to consume me, taking his time, which has me squirming on the spot. Wrapping a hand low around my waist, he grins, reading my heightened state of arousal.
Just as I’m about to ask what he’s going to do, he pulls me forward, pressing us chest to chest. I instantly get lost in his signature fragrance, and the way his heart beats in cadence with mine. My breaths push out in embarrassingly loud pants, but I couldn’t rein it back even if I tried. I’m pinned by that stormy look.
With the slowest of movements, he leans forward and runs his nose along my flesh. It’s a flutter, a mere whisper of a touch as he inhales me, but it’s enough to leave me mewling and demanding more. His lips take over, and he leisurely kisses across my cheek, leading to the shell of my ear. He nuzzles low and suckles it into the warm cavern of his mouth.
I whimper, the feeling too much. But what he whispers in my ear ruins me. “I want you, little Lucy Tucker. Now and forever.”
His deliriously slow kisses along my neck have my eyes rolling to the back of my head. He suckles and marks me, and I love it. I want more. But I push down my passion for the time being because his confession has just given me an idea. “Will you go on a date with me?”
His lips still, and he chuckles against my throat. “A date?”
“Yes.” Threading my fingers through the wisps of his long hair, I drag him up so we’re eye to eye. “With everything that’s happened, we missed out on the fun parts.” He arches a brow, which has me flashing a vibrant crimson. “I want to know everything. No more secrets.”
He takes a moment to process my proposal, and I know he understands what I mean. With Sam’s accident, we bonded over tragedy. But now that things are different, I want to know him…all of him.
I can’t help myself as I scan him from head to toe. His dirty blond hair has grown, the longer strands flicking forward, accentuating the deep gray to his eyes. His bowed lips are pink and plump, the scar adding to his bad boy appearance. My thoughts have me remembering what Sam said, and it shows.
“What’s the matter?” Saxon asks, running the back of two fingers along my jaw.
I did say no more secrets. “Sam said he lied to save me from a life of heartache. That you’re bad news.”
Saxon sighs. “And you believe him?”
