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“Sam, enough!” I tug on his arm, but he yanks it out from under me the moment I make contact.
“Don’ttouch me,” he snarls, turning his head to look at me. “You gave up that right the moment you fucked my brother!”
“Sam…” I gasp, eyes wide. “It’s not like that.”
But he doesn’t listen. He won’t see reason because nothing I can say will erase what I’ve done. “It’s exactly like that. When I needed you the most, you deserted me.”
“No.” Tears sting as a crippling sorrow overtakes me. I stagger backward, shaking my head. But my retreat only spurs Sam on.
He advances, gripping me by the upper arms. “Yes, Lucy, that’s exactly what happened.” His abhorrence is like a gust of wind, ready to blow me over. “Through sickness and in health…that’s the vows we were supposed to exchange. Remember?” He shakes me hard, and I sag like a ragdoll, helpless and limp.
“Let her go!” I vaguely hear Saxon roar, but the intensity behind Sam’s hold reveals he won’t do such a thing. It’s just us, and the ultimate showdown has finally come to pass.
“I said do…you…remember?” he shouts, rattling me to the core.
“Yes!” I cry, tears streaming down my cheeks. “I’m sorry.” I deserve this. I was naïve to think this would go any other way. What I’ve done is unforgiveable, and I have to accept the facts—Sam may never forgive me. If this is true, then I know a small part of me won’t forgive myself.
I wanted Sam’s forgiveness to wash away the guilt I feel, but it doesn’t work like that. You can’t force someone to forgive you, no matter how many times you say you’re sorry. And it’s quite clear that I can say I’m sorry for the rest of my life, and it still won’t be enough.
“You’re sorry? You’resorry?” he spitefully repeats, snickering. “It’s too late for that. You sure as shit weren’t sorry when you slept with my brother! You’re nothing but a slu…” Sam’s sentence remains unfinished because the air is ripped from my lungs when Saxon sweeps me to the side. I stagger, attempting to regain my footing, but find the wall as solace and watch on in horror as Saxon roars, slamming his fist into Sam’s jaw.
The sound is horrifying, a crack so loud, it stabs me low. “No!” I scream, but it’s in vain because it was bound to end this way.
Sam wipes his lip with the back of his hand, grinning sinisterly when it’s coated in blood. “About time you grew some balls.” Saxon growls and strikes him again.
Sam’s head jerks back with a sickening force, but Saxon continues to punch him, intent on continuing until he’s lying in a bloodied heap on the ground. Sam, however, is nobody’s punching bag, and he blocks Saxon, delivering an uppercut of his own.
The sight before me is beyond words. Flesh and blood fighting over…me. I feel sick to my stomach. I have to stop this, and I have to stop this now.
Pushing off the wall, I run to where the brothers are brawling. It’s a flurry of fists and a torrent of insults. I ignore both and forget my own safety as I latch onto Sam’s forearm, which is suspended midair, and thrust him backward with all my might.
The motion catches him off guard, and he staggers, losing his balance, and stumbles backward. It takes him a few moments, but when he finally comes to, he blinks once, taking in the scene of me standing in front of Saxon, prepared to be his shield. Saxon is cursing behind me, attempting to move the blockade that is me, but I’m not moving an inch.
I know they won’t hurt me, so I’m the only one who can make them stop.
“Lucy?” My name expels from Sam’s lungs in a tremble. The fire in him simmers, before eventually, extinguishing before my eyes.
He blinks again, but this time, it’s to clear the tears swelling. He slumps to his knees and kneels before me, clutching my upper thighs. Peering up at me, he begs for mercy. “You’re tearing out my heart.” He places a bloodied fist to his chest. “You both are.” His attention averts to Saxon, who stands by my side, and a sob escapes me. Every part of me aches. He’s lashing out because I have destroyed him.
With a tremble to my caress, I gently run my fingers through his hair. I want to console him, but it’ll take a lot more than a tender touch. “We never meant for this to happen.”
No matter that this is the truth, it does nothing to soothe Sam’s wounds. Still on his knees, his eyes soften, and he becomes the man I once knew. “So you’ve fallen out of love with me and in lust with him?”
I wish this were different because no matter what I say, someone gets hurt. But I can’t lie to spare his feelings. That would be far worse than the truth. Dropping to my knees, I surrender myself to him and do the only merciful thing I can. I tell him the truth—one which will no doubt crush him forever. “I’m…I’m not in lust with him, Sam…I love him.”
The truth is supposed to set you free, so why do I feel like I can’t breathe? The silence speaks volumes. I can’t take it any longer.
“Samuel?” I reach out to touch him, but he recoils quickly, my touch appearing to repulse him. “Sam, I’m so s-sorry.” Tears are streaming down my cheeks, and my heart, it can’t bear it any longer. I sob, curling in on myself, wishing I could find a solution where everyone wins. I’m weak, as I have no right to cry.
I’ve made my decision. Sam is the one who deserves these tears, not me. But the wounded look on his face, the look I put there, will haunt me for the rest of my life. “Don’t.” He gestures with his palm out for me to stay away.
I remain on my knees, watching through tears as he rises slowly, peering down at me like I’m someone he no longer recognizes. But I suppose I’m not. He spares a glance at Saxon who wisely has stayed away and allowed us this time. Nothing but utter hatred exists behind his glare. He turns and leaves without a single word, but I suppose there’s nothing left to say.
I watch until his form disappears and only then does Saxon make a move. He’s on his knees before me, cupping my cheek with his warm palm. Nothing but worry reflects on his face as he wipes away my tears with his thumbs. “Shh, please don’t cry. He’ll be okay.”
His reassurance has me sobbing harder than I’ve ever wept before. “Will we?” I whisper, because how does one survive such a life-changing event?
Saxon sighs, his exhaustion just as clear as mine. “We will.”
