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“I just want to forget the past and move on. I sound like a broken record, but coming here, reconciling with Sam or whatever happened between us, I feel like this is the first step. For us to move forward, I need this. I need to know that Sam will be okay…and he will be. And so will we.”
This speech has been said a hundred times, a thousand different ways, but this time, it’s different. Sam has met me halfway, and that’s better than where he was standing weeks ago.
“And you believe him? That he’s okay with us being together?”
I try not to get ahead of myself and rein in the tickertape parade for now. “Yes, I do. I really do.”
Saxon sighs, and I can imagine him running his fingers through his tousled locks, biting that lip, deep in thought. I know he has his doubts, he has every right to, but something inside me tells me this is really it this time.
“How can you be so sure?” Just as I’m about to reply, a sign is sent from above, and I don’t know whether I should laugh or bathe in bleach. “Lucy?”
I’ve gone quiet because no words could convey what I’m seeing right now.
“Lucy, you remember Alicia.” Sam fills in the silence because my mouth is opening and closing like a goldfish. How can I forget? She looks exactly how I remember—cheap and nasty.
I haven’t seen the Stone brothers’ exes in years, and now it appears they’re coming out in droves.
“Alicia? As in AliciaBell?” Saxon asks, clearly as stunned as I am.
Finding my voice, I answer, “Yup. And that’s how I can be so sure.” I reply to his earlier question, hoping to put his mind at ease once and for all. Alicia is Sam’s ex-girlfriend, and although he had amnesia and they dated for five seconds, he still seemed to remember her and not me. And it appears he remembers her now just fine as well.
The overnight bag she carries and the way she’s snuggled smugly into his side hints they’ve rekindled whatever spark they once had. She thinks she’s won. The thought is enough to make me want to puke. Alicia is Sam’s rebound? Wow. I thought he’d have a little more class than that. Are they a thing now?
Regardless, this is none of my business. And it couldn’t have come at a better time. It cements my point that we’re all moving on. Sadly for Sam, he’s moving downhill, but that’s his choice, and just as how he’s come to respect my choice, I must respect his.
Finding my manners, I stand and wave halfheartedly. “I sure do.” I don’t see the point in small talk because neither of us has ever liked one another, so why start now.
“Alicia will be staying the night,” Sam reveals, watching me closely. He’s likely afraid of my reaction, considering the last time I saw her, she rubbed my face in the fact my fiancé remembered her but not me.
Butque sera, sera.This is what moving on entails for everyone. No judgment here. “Awesome. I’ll get out of your hair then.”
Sam blinks once but quickly composes himself. Alicia, on the other hand, is more than happy with my departure as she tosses her bag onto the bed, making herself right at home.
Without a second thought, I sweep my clothes into a messy pile in the corner of the room, intent on discarding them all. But that can wait until tomorrow. “Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” I bite back my smile.
With the phone still pressed to my ear, I exit the bedroom, dashing down the hallway to my room. Once I’m safely locked within, I flop on the bed as a maniacal cackle erupts from me. “Why are you laughing?” Saxon asks, clearly concerned about my mental health. His question only seems to stoke the crazy, and I continue to laugh.
He allows me to get whatever this is out of my system, and when my full-blown laughter turns into semi collected giggles, I exhale, composing myself as best as I can. “I’m laughing because this is exactly what I’m talking about. Sam is moving on. His choice of partner is questionable, but you know what? That’s not my problem. I’m here because he asked me to come. He still wants to be friends, and as his friend, I will support him through this difficult time.”
I sit upright, reaching for Saxon’s pillow and hugging it to my chest. “But make no mistake, while I’m here, I will pack my shit, get everything sorted, and then…”
“And then?” His heavy exhalation exposes his anticipation.
“And then we freaking live.” Not the most poetic of words, but it’s the truth. This is the first step for all of us, and I can’t wait to take ten more.
“I like the sound of that,” he hums, and just like that, everything is right again.
“I love you, Saxon.”
“I love you too.”
I’m complete because those three little words, when used together, are the most powerful, most life-changing gift, and have the ability to change your life forever. And that’s what Saxon and I are—forever.
We say our goodbyes, both a lot happier than when we said our hellos. I lie back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling, as a sense of completeness envelops me. The world is now my oyster, and this heavy, foreboding sense of guilt seems to be shedding its skin.
When over-the-top, ear-splitting groans float down the hallway, leaving nothing to the imagination, I reach for my iPod, turn the volume to high, and interlace my hands behind my head. Living has never felt this good.
Something is truly magical about a sunrise. It’s proof that second chances do exist. Today is especially captivating, and when I rose, I almost felt reborn. I showered, then savored a cup of coffee in silence while overlooking my yard. I’ll miss this place. Regardless of the bitter memories, I also have fond ones.
