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“Swim, ah???!”
That name sparks a fire in my belly, and I push with all my might. It gives me the strength to swim faster than I’ve ever swum before. Within moments, I reach Saint, who quickly turns to swim back to shore. He stays close to me, guarding me until we reach land. When I can touch the ocean floor, I breathlessly stand and run frantically toward safety.
Saint does the same.
The moment my feet touch sand, I flop to the ground, sobbing and breathing uncontrollably. Saint drops to his knees, brushing the wet hair from my cheeks, his eyes searching over every inch of me. “You’re okay,” he reassures me and also himself.
I’m too far gone to have any control over my emotions, and I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in the crook of his neck. Being pressed this close brings home the fact I almost died, and I burst into fresh tears.
Saint surprises me when he wraps his arms around me cautiously before crushing me into his chest. “I told you to stay out of these waters. Why don’t you listen?”
“Wh-why didn’t y-you tell m-me?” I choke on my raspy breaths.
“Because I didn’t want to worry you,” he replies, pressing his lips to the top of my head as he drags me onto his lap.
“You’ve be-been fishing these waters?” I ask, but he doesn’t need to answer. He’s been risking his life so I could eat. Why? None of this makes any sense.
His heart pounds against me, rivaling mine. But I soon don’t know if my racing heart is from the adrenaline coursing through me or the fact I’m pressed against Saint so intimately. He smells incredible, and on instinct, I inhale deeply. I’ve wanted to do this since I first smelled his unique scent.
A groan escapes me, and everything tightens. I want him so badly, and even though I can pretend it’s because I almost died, it’s not. I’ve wanted him since the first moment he touched me. And I want him to touch me again.
“You’re letting me touch you,” I whisper. He usually steers clear of being touched.
“I like…you touching me,” he confesses, which rips a gasp from my lungs. “You will not go into these waters again, okay?”
“Okay. But neither will you,” I add. I won’t have him risking his life so I can eat. We will find somewhere else to fish.
The moment settles, and my heart rate eventually returns to normal.
When I realize I’m still clinging to him, I regrettably peel my arms from him. When he releases me, I bite my lip to mute the saddened cry. “You called me ah???.”
He pulls back, surprised.
“You haven’t called me that for days.”
He clears his throat, shuffling back a fraction, but I’m still perched on his lap. “You told me not to call you that.”
“What does it mean?”
A wall suddenly erects between us, and anything beautiful we just shared fades to the wind. “Come on, let’s go.” He gently shifts me off his lap and stands.
I, however, stay seated, unbelieving that after everything, this bullshit still exists between us. “No, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what it means.”
“Why does it matter?” he questions, running a hand through his wet hair.
“I need to know because maybe it’ll give me a clue into how you feel about me!”
Saint takes a step back, clearly stunned.
But I’m done. My close call with death has obliterated the filter on my mouth.
Launching up, I cry, “Am I just collateral to you? Do you even care what happens to me when we arrive in Russia?”
He turns his cheek, his jaw clenched. “You know what this is,” he grits out. But I don’t believe him.
“You lie,” I spit, but he is fierce as he springs forward, gripping my bicep, yanking me toward him.
“I am not your knight in shining armor. Stop trying to see something that isn’t there!” He is furious, which just encourages me to poke the bear.
