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Panic grips me because this is really it. I’ll no longer feel his touch or be comforted by his trademark scent. Everything we experienced will soon be a distant memory because to survive this place, I will have to do so under the guise of whatever drug I can find.
Or better yet.
When the time presents, I will finish what I started on that yacht because what sort of life is this? Without Saint, it feels like I’m living half an existence anyway.
I want to say so many things, but what would that achieve? I will keep my secret under lock and key and allow myself to slip back into the past when I miss him, which will be every single moment of every single day.
He launches forward, uncaring that Alek stands feet away, and buries me into his arms. He squeezes me so tightly, I can barely breathe, but what a way to go. He strokes my hair as he presses his lips to the top of my head.
The game is up, so Saint can touch me so openly. What is Alek going to do? He’s already done the worst possible thing he can. If he were to kill me, he’d be doing me a favor.
I sob into Saint’s chest as the world shatters around me. But I mute my whimpers because he is free. Finally, he can step out of the shadows and live where he belongs—in the light, which is why I gently break our embrace and…let go.
I turn on my heel and walk toward Alek, taking his extended hand. Saint curses behind me as I hear something shatter against the wall, but I don’t look back…and I never will.
I’m curled in a ball on my bed, fixated on the swirls on the wall. My tears have long dried up because there aren’t enough to express the utter anguish within me.
Alek detailed all the things he has planned for me—shopping, parties, trips around the world. It was clear what he was doing. He was hoping to buy me so I would forget about Saint. But how can I forget about someone ingrained in my very core?
A piece of me is missing, and it’ll never heal. But I focus on what’s important, and that’s Saint’s freedom.
I wonder what’s next for me. I’ve been living each day at a time, but the truth is, in part, I was living for Saint. For us to leave this place and start afresh together. I don’t regret my decision, not one single bit. I just wish I could have said goodbye.
But would it have lessened the ache within my chest?
I think not because nothing ever will.
Clutching the cross around my neck, I squeeze my eyes shut, not knowing what to do next. Saint was my compass, my true north, but now, I’m so fucking lost.
“Shh, don’t cry.” My mind, the cruel, sadistic bitch isn’t satisfied until I’m rocking in a corner it seems because when I hear his voice, I know it’s just a trick.
But when the bed dips, and I feel him. Smell him. I know that it’s not. “A????…”
Who knew a voice had the ability to take the pain away, and like a magic salve, I’m suddenly myself again.
Brushing the hair from my eyes, I sit up slowly, almost too afraid to look. But when I turn and see Saint, that fear turns to relief, and I burst into tears.
He scoops me into his arms, and I sag against him, intent on staying this way forever. “Ho-how are you h-here? I thought you’d be go-gone be n-now.”
“You really didn’t think that was goodbye, did you?” he says, pressing his lips to my head, my temple, and my cheeks, kissing away my tears.
“I didn’t know,” I confess. “I know you’re mad at me.”
“Yes, I’m fucking furious.” But his tone holds no bite.
“You have to go,” I press, wrapping my arms around his nape and nuzzling into the crook of his neck. No matter how angry he is, he knows I’m right.
“I know. But I fucking hate this is the only way. The stolen moments, it’s not enough time.” Being in here, we’re both being watched. But with Saint out of these walls, he has a fighting chance to set us free. “I’ll come back for you,” he whispers into my ear. “I promise.”
My skin breaks out into goose bumps from the vow alone. I gave him the option to take his freedom and run, but it seems he wants something more…and that’s me.
“I know you will.”
“I’m only leaving”—he inhales slowly, akin to being in pain—“because I know you can look after yourself. You’re not the princess who needs rescuing.” He pulls away and cups the back of my neck. With fire burning behind his eyes, he declares, “You’re fucking fierce. And you’re no one’s victim. You never have been. Never forget it.”
Unable to hold back a second longer, I paw at him madly as I smash my lips to his. He drags me up his body so I’m straddling him so tight, not a wisp of air can pass between us. Our kisses are messy and frantic, but they’re perfect. They remind me that I’m alive.
I want him with every frenzied breath I breathe into him, but this kiss is a stolen one in time. He bites my bottom lip, before our tongues duel, fighting for top spot. I rub myself against him, his hard erection hitting me in just the right way.
