Page 106 of Forever My Saint


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Isn’t she?

I don’t have time to question it because all I hear is a thunderous, “Run!” before the world explodes around me. It’s like I’m reliving the past twice as the heat from the explosion almost burns me raw.

Pandemonium erupts, and I know playing dead is no longer an option because if I don’t get the fuck up, I won’t be playing. I spring to my feet, ignoring the fact the world is currently tilted, and keep low as the gunshots begin to ring out around me. The battlefield is gruesome, littered with dead bodies and scattered body parts.

The roaring fire crackles cruelly, and I shield my eyes, hoping to see through the flames. Saint is nowhere to be seen. Seeing a discarded gun in front of me, I pick it up and keep low as I attempt to find him.

Pained screams fill the night air, alerting me that many of our attackers lay wounded and close to death. The flaming ball of fire, which was once a car, burns like the flames of hell. Pavel’s bomb was effective once again, but knowing Ingrid’s death was the reason for the explosion brings tears to my eyes.

Pavel said she was bait. I now know what he meant.

“No!” I cry out, allowing the tears to fall. I tried to save her, but in the end, she saved me. She saved us all.

Her death will not be in vain.

“Saint!” I scream to be heard over the commotion. I can’t see three feet in front of me through the thick black smoke. “Pavel!”

But I’m on my own.

I’m on high alert as I snap my head from left to right, scoping out my surroundings as best I can. When I hear rushed footsteps, followed by a war cry, I duck low and aim my gun into the distance. My hand trembles as I await my attacker, and when I see him, I scream for him to stop.

But he doesn’t.

He charges for me, his own gun raised, intent on blowing a hole straight through me. Nothing about him indicates he plans to stop, so it’s either him or me—survival of the fittest.

“Please, stop! I’ll shoot you. I swear I w-will!” My warning falls on deaf ears as he snarls, picking up pace.

So without hesitation, I train my gun on him, inhale, and fire.

He tumbles to the ground in a twisted heap, and I blink once, unsure if I actually pulled the trigger. However, when he doesn’t move, I know that I did. I’ve killed another man. I try not to focus on that fact as I continue to look for Saint. I did what I had to.

The smoke makes it impossible to breathe, so I raise the collar of my sweater and place it over my nose. I trip over fallen bodies as I blindly continue to search for anyone who isn’t the enemy.

Men grip onto my legs with burned or missing fingers, but I shake them off, ignoring their pleas for help. They made their choice, and I will live with mine. I was far enough away to be spared the wrath of the explosion, but what about everyone else?

Ingrid chose the car farthest away from us, but there is no guarantee everyone else was as lucky as me. With that as my motivation, I continue looking for my friends. But the dense smoke and the crackle of the world exploding around me make my search impossible.

My ears are ringing, and I have double vision, but giving up isn’t in the cards. “Saint!” My anxious voice echoes around me. I need to find him.

I don’t know how long I blindly search for him, but it feels like hours. All I can hear is his bloodcurdling scream on repeat. Shaking my head, I focus on my surroundings with my gun aimed out in front of me. Someone emerges from the smoke, and when I see who it is, I exhale in utter relief.

“Pavel! Are you all right?” He is covered in soot and blood, but this is another day in the office for him.

“Yes, you?”

I nod quickly. “Have you seen Saint?”

“No, the last I saw, he was dragging Zoey to safety.”

“Zoey…c’mon, wake up. Please, wake up.”

Those were the last words I heard before all of this went to hell. Does that mean Zoey was shot? If Saint was dragging her to safety, then it’s safe to assume she can’t do so herself.

“We need to find the others!” I shout while Pavel nods.

“Stick together.”

I wasn’t planning on doing anything else.

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