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“I have some paperwork you’ll have to give to the pilot.” I’m not sure if this is code for Pavel wanting to speak to Saint in private.
“Okay.” Saint kisses my forehead.
All this secrecy is adding to my already frayed nerves.
Saint and Pavel exit the kitchen, leaving me alone with Larisa and Zoey who also seem to sense the concealment.
Needing some time alone, I grab a coffee and make my way into the living room. The fireplace has been my best friend during my time here, and I take a seat in front of it, staring into the bright orange flames.
This entire situation leaves me restless and leaving can’t come soon enough.
“Hey.” Sara sits down beside me, drawing her knees toward her chest. “Are you okay?”
Shrugging, I take a sip of coffee.
“Did something happen?”
“Alek is gone,” I reply blankly.
“Oh.” Her response reveals her surprise. “Are you upset he’s gone?” She is trying to work out why I am so irritated because Alek being gone means we can all move on.
“I’m annoyed,” I answer, turning to look at her. “He just left.”
“Were you expecting more?” she asks curiously.
I mull over her question because I don’t know why this bugs me so much. “Yes, I was. He owes you an apology for everything he’s done to you. He also should have given Saint the respect he deserves and looked him in the eye and ended this between them—once and for all. Not to mention, he didn’t even say goodbye to Ingrid. She deserved that.”
Sara nods. “I understand. But apologizing to me wouldn’t bring Hans back. Nor would it make what he did to Saint okay. Alek may have changed, but his past actions can never be forgiven. Him leaving this way doesn’t change anything. We only worked with one another because there was no other way. We wanted the same thing, and to achieve that, we had to work together.”
“I disagree,” I argue. “We don’t even know what he has planned. How do we know he’s even going to do what he says? Can we trust him not to double-cross us?”
“Why does it matter?”
And that’s the catch. I don’t have the answer.
“I don’t know. It just does,” I reply honestly.
Sara seems to ponder over my response. “It’s okay to be worried about him. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t.”
But that’s not it. “I’m not. I just, something feels unresolved by us leaving this way.”
“Will you ever really get closure?” she questions gently. “What’s happened to us will leave us forever questioning why. Why us? What did we do to deserve this? And regardless of the answers we’re given, it’ll never be enough.
“Sometimes, you have to accept that life just…is. And not dwell on the past. We have to learn from the past and ensure we don’t make the same mistakes in the future.”
She’s right, but that still doesn’t make this heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach go away. There is something I need to do; I just don’t know what that is—yet.
“I’m really going to miss you.” This, however, is something I don’t need clarification on.
“Me too.” Sara smiles, but it’s heavy with sadness. “I’m so happy to have met you. I hope when we’re both settled and things aren’t so crazy, we will see one another again.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat because Sara and I have bonded over the most atrocious acts. One doesn’t forget such a connection because experiences such as ours fortify true friendship forever. “I hope so too. Where are you and Max headed?”
“He has made arrangements for us to go to France.”
“Back home?” I question with surprise as I know her relationship with her father is volatile. He was the reason she was imprisoned in the first place.
“Not at first,” she replies in a faraway voice, her eyes focused on the fire. “But maybe one day.”
