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“These hands,” I say, turning them over. “They’ve killed, and they won’t stop killin’. Y’ve got to leave me be, Babydoll. I can offer ye nothin’.”
Her silence is deafening.
I don’t know where she’s been, but honestly, I don’t care because I’m so happy she’s here now.
“I know what I’m getting myself into,” she finally speaks, caressing my cheek. “And besides, it’s not like I don’t have baggage of my own.”
“Who are ye?” I ask again, hoping this time she’ll finally tell me the truth.
She bites her bottom lip. “I can’t tell you.”
Frustrated, I remove her hand and take a step away from her. “Ye need to leave. I don’t trust ya.”
Tears swell in her green eyes. “I understand that. I haven’t given you reason to. But have I ever hurt you? Haven’t I always had your back? Can’t you just trust me?”
She’s right, although she’s lied to me, she’s always had my back. But I don’t trust her. “I can’t trust ya,” I confess. “I don’t know who y’are.”
“Trust your…feelings for me,” she says softly. “They’re real. I know they are…just how mine are for you.”
Her face is heavy with emotion, begging I confirm what she just said.
“Where’ve y’been?” I ask in vain as I know she won’t answer me.
When she doesn’t reply, I shake my head. “This is exactly the reason I can’t trust ya, regardless of my feelin’s. Ya need to go.”
I turn my back, but she reaches out and snares my forearm.
Peering down at her fingers, I give her a silent warning. If she has a point, best she makes it now. “So you admit you do have feelings for me?”
“What difference does it make? Those feelin’s mean fuck all without trust. I know yer not tellin’ me somethin’ because yer afraid. But I’d never hurt ye. I’d never judge ye. But ya still won’t tell me, and those feelin’s of betrayal are more important than any others.
“I’ve been lied to my entire life. I’m done with it.”
She nods, holding back her tears. “I promise, all of this will make sense soon. Can you just trust me until then?”
“I don’t know that I can,” I reply honestly.
Her grip around me trembles, but I stand firm.
“For what it’s worth, I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” she confesses, permitting her tears to fall. “I know you probably don’t believe me, but I’ve risked so much…for you. I knew the consequences, but I didn’t care. If only you knew what that meant, you’d understand why I’m doing what I am.
“I fall to pieces when I’m with you, and I don’t even care because I know you’ll be there to help me heal. You’ve always been there.
“We don’t make sense, but you can’t deny this attraction. It was there from the first moment we met. Not just physically, but in here as well.” She places her hand on my chest over my hammering heart. “This is as honest as I can be for now. Please let it be enough.”
Every part of me is demanding I throw her out. It’s what I should have done ages ago, but instead, I place my hand over hers. “Sure, this is it.”
She smiles, cementing how fucked I really am. I know this is wrong and probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life, but I’m knackered fighting a war I don’t want to win.
She loops her fingers through mine and leads me toward the bathroom. I go willingly. I allow her to unzip my hoodie and watch as she drops it to the floor. Without a word, she takes off my T-shirt, coaxing me to lift my arms so she can slip it over my head.
Once I’m topless, she turns on the tap and wets a facecloth with hot water. Wringing it out, she commences to wipe my face clean. The act is filled with kindness and care. I’ve never been tended to this way before.
A knot forms in my stomach because I’m falling for Babydoll, and I know I’ve passed the point of no return.
Once my face is clean, she chews her bottom lip and slips out of her blue dress. She stands before me in a black bra and matching underwear. She then reaches around her back and unhooks her bra. The moment she allows it to fall and I see her beautiful tits, I sigh, feeling at home being with her this way.
She clutches onto my belt buckle and draws me toward her, where she unfastens my belt and then my jeans. I’m not wearing any boxers, so a small gasp leaves her when she sees me semi-erect. I step out of my jeans and await further command.
