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My mom and my sister, Eva, are back home in Chicago. It’s hard to believe Eva is almost the same age as me when I first came here. How naïve I was ten years ago. I never thought I’d not only fall in love but that I’d meet my soulmate—in every sense of the word.
When Punky was sent to prison, I received a life sentence too. Of course, our imprisonment was different, but with each day, week, month, and year that he refused to speak to me, the walls of my cell caged me in further. I lost myself because Punky was my true north.
Even knowing what I did with us being related didn’t make a difference. I still loved him. And even though he refused to see me, I never gave up on him. We tried everything to help him, but after exhausting every possible avenue, we accepted that we had failed.
I went to visit him every week. I wrote to him every day for ten years. Some letters I sent. Others were my form of therapy. But not a day went by that I didn’t try. However, he made it clear he wasn’t interested in seeing me when my constant visits were denied.
I don’t know if he got the letters I sent as he never replied.
After months of trying, I had to go back to America to check on my mom and Eva. Brody stuck to his word, and the money he sent saved my mom’s life. The experimental drugs worked. With the extra money, I was able to send Eva to a good school where she got the education she deserved.
Life was the best it had ever been, but it meant nothing knowing what I did to achieve that happiness. Knowing that Punky was rotting away because of my betrayal.
For this reason, once my mom and Eva were settled, I came back here and picked up where I left things. I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t move on with Punky being where he was. Rory and Cian were trying desperately to help Punky, but he still refused all visitors.
That is when Rory and I grew closer. We both shared the same pain—we missed Punky, and that’s what we bonded over. We found solace in the other as it felt good being with someone who Punky once loved.
I eventually accepted that I may never see Punky again, and that’s when I let Rory in. It was difficult at times; I suppose it still is. But being with Rory is easy. He has a very good job as an IT specialist. He had given up the life of crime because, without Punky, there wasn’t a business to run.
And Brody Doyle, myfather, ensured the Davieses and the Walshes knew their reign was over. It was his turn to rule both Belfast and Dublin. Without the Kellys, we had no choice but to start over. Most would say I should be thankful for the fact, but it’s hard to forget someone who has given you so much to remember them by.
I have commuted back and forth between America and Northern Ireland for the past ten years. But when I accepted Rory’s proposal, I knew I would call Northern Ireland my home, and I thought I was okay with that. But now that Punky is out…I don’t know how to feel.
I never finished my performing arts degree because I couldn’t commit to it. I’ve made it my life goal to help set Punky free. Because of this, I don’t have a career like Darcy does. Back home, I work any job that pays.
As I only worked casual jobs, it allowed me to travel between here and America without having to worry about taking time off. I just quit and looked for another job when I went back home.
I shaped my life around Punky because deep down, I didn’t feel deserving to live a full, prosperous life while he wasted away alone. But now that he’s out, I can’t help but look back on the last ten years with regret.
I would have done so many things differently. But I can’t change the past.
“There ya are,” Rory says, wrapping his arm low around my waist.
His colleague and wife stop talking and offer their congratulations to Rory. I feel horrible as I haven’t listened to a word they’ve said.
Another group comes over, kissing our cheeks. Everyone is in good spirits, and I was too until a few minutes ago. Rory has picked up on my mood and politely makes up a lie as to why we have to leave. We walk through the packed room, and each step I take has my impending breakdown hastening.
Rory gently ushers me into the hallway, away from the guests. He hugs me softly. “Are ya all right?”
“Not really,” I confess into his shoulder. “I didn’t want Punky finding out this way. That’s why I wanted to tell—”
But Rory cuts me off. “Ach, I know. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I didn’t think Darcy would bring him here.”
I can’t help but narrow my eyes because I know she did that on purpose. But I don’t let my anger show. “What’s done is done. What did he say?”
I gently pull out of his arms, waiting for him to answer. When he sighs, I know the answer.
“He said he’s happy for us.”
“And,” I coax, knowing there is more.
“And that I’m to treat ya right. Otherwise, he’ll have no issues breakin’ my arm.”
I can’t help but smile.
“I was wrong not to tell him sooner. Can ya forgive me?”
I cup his cheek. “Rory, there’s nothing to forgive.”
