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“How do we get past this?”
“We don’t,” I reply. “I can’t take back what I did, and I don’t want to. I’m okay with that. But are you?”
Cian’s cheeks billow as he exhales. “I don’t know,” he says honestly. “I can’t get the image from my head. I’ve not seen ye like that before. It scared me.”
“I’ve not been in a situation like that before, Cian. I saw no reason, no mercy. Rory took from me the only person I’ve ever loved and all because he was fucking jealous. It’s somethin’ y’d expect a chile or wee teenager to do, not a grown man, a man who y’ve known yer entire fucking life.
“I’m sick of these games. It’s like every single day is the same fucking day. I’ve lived this life since I was five years old, and I’m sick of it. I want no part of it, but I’ve no choice. Until I find Babydoll, I’m forced to do Sean’s biddin’.”
Cian’s fight has simmered, and even though we’re far from being okay, the fact he hasn’t left means he hasn’t given up on me—yet.
“What are ye goin’ to do?”
This conversation is one we had in what feels like a lifetime ago, but the stakes are so much higher this time around. “It took crashing yer truck into a tree for me to realize that I refuse to surrender. I was feelin’ sorry for myself, but that won’t bring Babydoll back. I have to do what I’ve done my entire life.”
“And what’s that?”
Leveling Cian with nothing but honesty, I reply, “Fight.”
The pity party for one is over. It’s time I got my head out of my arse and go get my girl.
“And how do ye plan on doin’ that?”
“Any way I need to. No one is off-limits. Iwillfind her, Cian. Even if I have to tear this fucking country apart with my bare hands, I’ll find her.”
He nods, understanding that I will sacrifice anything,anyoneto get her back, which is why no one is safe around me. If Sean asked me to prove my loyalty by killing everyone I loved to get her back…I would.
A knock on my door has both Cian and I looking at one another, ready to attack if we need to.
Reaching for the gun off the couch, I quietly walk to the front door. I don’t ask who it is as I open it. Who I see standing in front of me has me exhaling in relief.
“Ethan.”
“Can I come in?” he sheepishly asks, not knowing if I’ll throw him out as I did to Hannah. But I don’t.
Stepping aside, I open the door wider, allowing him entry.
This is the first time I’ve seen him since his return, and I’m happy he looks healthier than when I saw him last.
He and Cian shake hands as Cian was the one who rescued him and Eva while I was distracting Sean. How foolish I was to think that plan would work.
His chest is rising and falling rapidly, indicating he is nervous. I give him the time he needs.
Taking a closer look at him, I see he is the dead spit of Connor. He’s tall with the same color brown hair and sharp blue eyes as his dad. He still needs to grow into his physique, but when he does, he’ll be an unstoppable force.
The tattoo on his wrist, the same one as mine, has me angered and saddened all in the same breath. I wonder what Sean made him do. I wonder who he made him kill.
“I know ye don’t want to see any of us, but I needed to come here. It’s been eatin’ me up inside, Punky.” He works his bottom lip between his teeth. “I wanted to thank ya for what ye did. Ya sacrificed everythin’ to save Eva and me.
“I didn’t deserve it. Not after what I did.”
“Away ta fuck. I won’t be hearin’ that.”
“Naw, I mean it,” Ethan says stubbornly. “I tried to fucking kill ye. I’m ashamed of myself. Can ya forgive me?”
“There’s nothin’ to forgive, Ethan,” I reply softly. “Sean is a manipulator. I don’t blame ya for fallin’ into his trap. I’m just sorry I couldn’t stop him.”
“Ya can’t save the world, Punky,” Ethan says, which is something I’ve been told before. “I made the choice. It was the wrong one, but I’ll own that, and I will do everythin’ I can to make amends for it.
