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“Do ye know who this Aleksei mawn is?” Cian asks as we walk to the car.
I shake my head. “No, I do not. But if Ron thinks he can be trusted, that’s good enough for me.”
“And yer okay with givin’ everythin’ to him? Everythin’ our fathers worked so hard for?”
“This life is what killed our dads, Cian,” I bitterly spit. “He’d be doin’ me a favor.”
And I mean it.
As we get into the car and I drive away, I sense Cian’s silence is filled with anything but.
“Spit it out, will ye?”
He turns to look at me, a heavy sigh leaving him. “I just want this over with,” he confesses. “But on the other hand, I’m angry it’s come to this. This was supposed to beourlegacy, but now, I can’t help but feel like I’ve let my dad down.
“There doesn’t seem to be an outcome where we win.”
“There are no winners,” I state, clenching the steering wheel. “Merely survivors.”
“That’s right.”
“Not everyone will survive this, though. Sean has asked I kill Liam. That was a given. But not after some party he’s throwin’.”
“Don’t these buck eejits ever learn?”
“Doesn’t seem like it. Sean wants any competition eliminated so the men have no other choice but to serve him.”
“And what happens when you’re the only competition left?”
“I can only hope I beat him before it comes to that,” I reply, but my response lacks confidence.
“Whatever happens, I’m with ye.”
Normally I would argue, but the truth is, I need him. I need all the allies I can get.
We ride the rest of the way in silence, and when I drop Cian home, I see the front curtain part. It’s Amber.
She closes it a second later, clearly not interested in seeing her boyfriend being dragged into my shite once again.
Cian has lent me his car, but I plan on buying one as soon as I can because I can’t keep imposing on him. I know he doesn’t mind, but I do.
I drive away and am surprised I haven’t heard from Sean. He would have usually called on me by now. The radio silence worries me because I am certain he is up to no good.
When I pull into the driveway and see he isn’t waiting for me, I don’t know whether to be worried or relieved. This paranoia is expected because of what I’ve done, but I can’t let it get to me. I need my head in the game.
Parking the car, I decide to work on the castle as I wait for Sean to call, which I’m sure will be soon.
The castle is a work in progress with scaffolding holding the structure in place. Getting her back to what she once was has taken a back seat, but with Sean as the new owner, I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks it down.
So many ghosts haunt this place. I think he’ll want a fresh start once he finally gets his throne.
Unlocking the front door, which has been replaced, I step inside, and like always, I’m hit with bittersweet memories. When she thrived, this castle was unmatched. Now, she barely stands. I can’t help but draw the comparisons between it and me.
The construction crew has done a great job, but seeing as I’m no longer the owner, as I signed my life over to Sean, she sits waiting. We all do.
Peering upward, I see most of the ceiling has been replaced, but the inside is still gutted. Only a few walls remain. My mum and Connor would be disgusted to see the state of her, as they took pride in their home. So much has changed.
Lost in the past is a dangerous place to be because it’s the present that has caused me the most harm, and now is no exception. I turn, but it’s too late. This trip down memory lane has cost me when my world is shrouded in darkness; thanks to the pillowcase shoved over my head.
