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One touch to decipher everything. It was perfect. She was perfect. Fuck, we were perfect together.
I would tell her tonight. I had to tell her. I couldn’t keep doing this, wondering if she was having sex with me because it was me or because she enjoyed it. Hopefully both, but fuck if I knew.
Her walls clenched hard around my cock and she whimpered, lips pressed against my chest. I couldn’t do it anymore. The thread snapped and I lost control. I was unraveling and fraying from the pleasure. I slammed her body down on mine time and time again until I felt that all too familiar feeling. It was coming, I was coming. The wet sounds each time she slid up and down my length was what did me in.
Her eyes were consumed with lust. Her expression was one of ecstasy. Her olive-green gaze bored into my own as I lost control within her. I held her down as I shot my load inside her hot little body. I was breathing heavily, uncontrolled.
We sat there. Foreheads together panting, trying to catch our breath. I pulled out and a splurge came with it. The front of my pants would probably be ruined but I didn’t care.
“I love you, Zales.”
“Aww, I love you too, Luke.”
“No, you don’t get it do you? What are we doing here? You wanted me to take your virginity and I did that but we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other.”
“I don’t know…”
“I want to be with you, Zales. Before we have any more sex, you need to decide what you want. Are you having sex with me because you feel the same way I do, or is it because it’s something new and exciting you hadn’t done before?” I sighed. “Because for me… it’s because it’s you. Yes, sex is amazing and perfect with the right person, but I don’t want to just be a dick that’s convenient. There’s a person with feelings and wants in here too.”
She shook her head but I pulled her chin, forcing her to look me in the eye.
“It’s only ever been you, Zales.”
“Lukas…”
“I’m tired of pretending that I don’t want you. Because I fucking do.”
I took her mouth roughly, savagely. Like a man in desperation. Like a man at the end of his wits. Like a man who needed this woman to understand just how fucking much he needed her.
Her mouth was hot and wet. Her tongue assaulted mine in the best way possible. I grabbed the back of her hair and held her to me so I had full advantage of those pouty perfect lips.
She was hungry for it. Everything I could give her. But I wasn’t lying. I can’t keep putting my heart through the ringer. A breathy moan slipped up between us and I groaned.
I let her go and she seemed lost in a daze. Unable to breathe. Unable to think. Unable to move. Trapped in her gaze. Her brows furrowed and I wished I knew what she was thinking.
I could see the fear lingering in her eyes. I knew this day would come and I just prayed she didn’t break my fucking heart.
She had never seen a healthy relationship work. When they lost her mom, the great Sergio Harris went on a fucking spree. A different woman in his bed every night. That’s not love or even passion. It’s doing something to try to not focus on something you can’t ever have.
I know that feeling all too well. I planned to tell Azalea this year. Ask her to take a chance on us. Be with me and see where it goes. See where the next year takes us. When she told me about wanting to quit golf, I can’t say I wasn’t thrilled.
If she quit golf I could ask her to come with me when I made it pro. She wouldn’t even have to work. I just wanted her, desperately.
“I’m not proud of how I’ve acted Zales. There have been a few guys that I ran off because the thought of you naked and being pleasured by someone else made me sick. You want to know why?”
She nodded so I continued. “Because you’re mine. We’ve been friends for years but I’m tired of holding back and pretending that I don’t want to be more than just a best friend. I want everything.”
She shook her head. “Luke… stop.” But I couldn’t. If I stopped then she would run.
I wasn’t ready for her to go so soon after I’d dropped my heart onto her lap.
Afterwards I was completely vulnerable with how I was feeling. “Think about it, Zales. Every time you called me in the middle of the night I’ve been there. I’ve been to every single golf tournament to cheer you on. I will go out of my way to find something so we can hang out together.”
“Luke… I…” she shook her head as she moved from my lap, fixed her skirt, and then ran. I called after her, knowing she could hear me, but she didn’t stop or even slow.
It felt like a bullet through the heart taking out a ventricle. I’d laid myself out on the line, and she’d taken it and run. I was flatlining. I couldn’t do this anymore. If she wanted to run, fine by me. I refused to let my heart be pulverized for one more minute.
