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“What?” My breath catches in my throat.
“Not intentionally. Alex is…he’s fun. He’s funny. The hardest worker I’ve ever met, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously like some guys with his level of talent do. I genuinely like him. Love him, really, like a brother. But I always knew hanging around him would give me the chance to see you.”
He rolls his head to the side, facing me head on. “I never planned to act on that. Ever. I just liked being with you. Being with you both. Off the field, those were the best moments, and I justified them because they weren’t supposed to be anything more than friends hanging out. Then I saw you at the gym, and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.”
I should speak, offer some sort of reassurance, but I don’t have the words. I believe Eric didn’t use Alex intentionally, same as I didn’t. But I’m no better than he is, relying on poker night and other outings with my brother to get a glimpse of him. No wonder Alex is so hurt.
As he usually does, Eric interprets my expression. “He’ll forgive you eventually. He just needs a little time.”
“And you?”
“That’s a little harder to predict. He may have to hate me in order to forgive you.”
My lip trembles, knowing my brother’s hate could simultaneously absolve me and ruin things with Eric.
Eric must come to that same conclusion. He reaches over and brushes his thumb over my quivering lip. “I know you don’t know how to choose between us, and I won’t ask you to. I’m also not going to walk away from this. I have to believe eventually he’ll forgive me, too. We just have to help him see that our feelings outweigh everything else, even if we didn’t intend for them to.”
“Do they?” I blink back the tears I feel gathering.
“Of course they do. I love you, Addison. I always have, since I first saw you kicking field goals and making football pants look sexier than I could’ve ever imagined. Although looking hot in football pants is just a bonus, it’s your spirit that really gets me. The way you put all your energy into the things that are important to you. I hope that includes me.”
His words make the tears flow freely, both because his feelings echo mine, and because I feel trapped between happiness and guilt.
“It does.” I sniff. “I love you, too. And I promise to fight for us. But how?”
“I have an idea. Trust me.” The tender kiss he places on my lips keeps me from shattering under the weight of the unknown.
