Page 75 of Heartsick


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I tried my best to return the smile, no matter how stiff. I was trying even harder yet not to step away from him as he approached me with open arms. Ottack wrapped his large arms around me, the press of his soft abdomen pinning my hands as they were, inside my pockets.

“So sad to hear about your parents. Who do you think could have been behind the attack? Surely, not anyone who supported your rights to the crown?” He gaped, pulling away, but there was no sincerity in his gaze. Ottack was acting for me as much as I would be acting for him today. It was the way it had been for so long with the noble Fae. Pretend you are who they think you are, or a better version of what they expect. It was exhausting.

“I have a group working to investigate the matter. Thank you for your concern and the warm welcome.”

“There is a hot cup of tea already waiting for you.” He pointed to the couch opposite of the one I’d found him sitting on.

Even the handle held warmth when I curled my fingers around the delicate porcelain. Careful not to spill, I lowered myself into my seat. My legs felt awkward, my feet not knowing where to go. I settled for crossing my legs, holding the cup in my lap, while nerves gurgled in my stomach.

“I was ever-so-pleased to find out that I was your first official visit after becoming king.” Ottack sipped his tea, watching me through the steam. “Assuming there weren’t any unofficial visits, of course. It’s outright maddening to hear about the traitorous acts within the Acture Court. King Windre currently has my favorite cook and it’s not likely she’ll be given back.”

I’d let Ottack think whatever he wanted about my unofficial visits. Because they weren’t official, I didn’t feel the need to explain them. I breathed in the tea, holding it close to my mouth checking for signs of anything in my cup other than what I expected. Ottack didn’t need a death like that on his hands either. There may have been people against me, but currently, I held the majority of the Twinity Court. Satisfied with my brief inspection, I sipped the drink.

In my continued silence, Ottack spoke. “I’d always thought of you as a son, though I was disappointed that Maggie did not attend your bridal proposition. I know if she had, you’d have selected her. So,” he set his cup down, folding his hands, “I will gladly act as your father, and guide you toward the right decisions as king. This is why you came, yes?”

Ottack loved to have his fucking ego stroked, and somehow he had convinced himself that although I was over a century old, I needed him to parent me. I supposed maybe my reputation had a little to do with that.

“Actually, I wanted to speak with you about a possible alliance.” I glanced up at his lingering guard. We had not counted on him having a guard in the room. It was not typical, nor polite for there to be prying ears listening in on private conversations of Fae nobility. Guards could be bought and often were. “Maybe we could have some time alone.”

“Oh, him? He can be trusted. Can’t be too safe nowadays.”

I continued watching the guard. He kept his gaze trained ahead. Did he know how much of a problem his presence was? He could, and likely would, lose his life today to keep all the loose ends tied up.

“Now, silly boy. You know that your parents and I have been on good terms. Is that not the alliance you are seeking?”

“No, I’m giving you an opportunity to join my court. We will help you fight your battles as you would help us fight ours. Work as a team against threats to our lands.” I set my cup down, intertwining my fingers as I spoke.

“Interesting.” A smile slithered over his cheeks like a snake. “What are your terms?”

“You free your Nymphs.”

There I’d said it. It was out there in the open and Ottack had his opportunity to save himself. I didn’t truly believe that he would agree. Ottack loved his slaves, as much as he loved obtaining land. Yet, I still found myself clinging to the hope that he could change. I’d changed. People could grow and recognize their mistakes.

Ottack stared at me for a moment, his obscure smile still plastered on his face. The guard behind him shifted on his feet. A sign the guard was ready to intervene should this not go the way they wanted. I’d have to do something about this guard.

Finally, he laughed. Not genuinely because he wasn’t truly amused. It was a fragile laugh, the kind that balanced between anger and insanity. Tension built in my body, my muscles tightening at the sound as if bracing for impact.

“I can’t do that. Financially, it’s simply not wise.” His shoulders rose and fell.

“You know that the Nymphs are real creatures, right? Ones who feel. Ones who love and give and fight and die.” My words wheezed out like he’d struck me in my gut. The anxiety and nausea inside of me burst, popping with a sickening splat as it seeped into my trembling fingers.

“Their lives are so terribly small compared to ours,” he sighed. “I understand that you want to look progressive. Rule with the zeal of a new leader in touch with his own generation. Maybe that’s what others at your young age would like for the world, and if so, it’s likely because you're too young. Inexperienced. Is that why you drag around that Nymph girl as if she’ll actually be your wife?”

An anchor wrapped itself around my heart, every beat heavy. “She will be my wife. I love her.” My hand itched to hold my knives that remained tucked inside the waist of my belt. “Every moment I get with her will be more beautiful and more fulfilled than the days that I outlive her.”

“She’ll only be a blip in time. You can have your fling with the Nymph, but one day she’ll die and you’ll be able to produce real heirs to your throne with a Fae woman. All the while holding your head high as the enlightened, radical king who let his slaves free within his court. Brilliant idea really.”

I fisted my hands. “Stop it,” I spat. “You won't talk down to me any longer, I am your equal.”

“You think highly of yourself, new King.” His smile slipped into a snarl. “But I would not consider us to be equals. My expertise and years far outnumber yours. You’d be wise to take my advice.”

Shades of my anger, red and hot, covered my cheeks like the crisp burn of the sun. Even the tips of my pointed ears blazed.Boom. Boom. My heartbeat pounded.Boom. Boom.

Taking care to straighten my jacket, I stood with a careful breath and a calculated smile. “I seem,” I cleared my throat, “to have forgotten myself. Would you please excuse me? I’d like to take a moment to gather myself in the restroom.”

“That would be a rather good idea.” Ottack stiffened, leaning back into the couch. “Down the hall, take a right, first door on the left.” He waved his hand and picked his teacup back up.

“Thank you.” I bowed ever so slightly before escorting myself out of the room.

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