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Nicky came back from the memory as the exit on the highway came up. The moon and stars shone above, their luminescence blurred by the interstate lights. The sky was a deep blue, and the stars looked like diamonds on the black velvet backdrop.
It wasn't the first time she'd gone into full memory mode while running on auto pilot. It wouldn't be the last. She turned the wheel and took a right off the highway, onto a dark road. In the passenger seat, she could feel Ken's eyes on her.
"You haven't talked in at least twenty minutes," Ken said. "That's not like you, Lyons."
"Sorry," she said. "I was just thinking."
"About what?"
Nicky didn't reply. She'd already revealed too much to Ken the other night in the hotel. He was going to start thinking she was too soft, even though she wasn't. Nicky's memories, her PTSD--she didn't consider them a weakness. She considered them a strength.
"What's going on?" Ken asked.
"I'm not soft or anything," Nicky clarified. She wasn't being rude, just wanted to gently let him know that he didn't need to worry. And maybe she did care about earning his respect.
"I never said you were," Ken replied.
"I know." Nicky kept driving for a moment. "Was just thinking about what happened again. That's all."
“With your sister.”
Nicky nodded with a lump in her throat.
"It's not your fault,” Ken said. “You didn't know what was going to happen. And you were a kid too."
"Yeah, but I was her big sister." She paused, her voice thick. "I shouldn't have been the one to get away."
"I get that." Ken looked out the window. "You're the only one in the office I've told about what happened to Tiana.”
Nicky paused. She didn't know that. But Ken was far from an open book, so that made sense. Working with Ken had changed her opinion of him. He'd always seemed to aggressive and rude in the office, and in many ways, petty and jealous. But that wasn't Ken Walker at all. Like her, he was in this to save lives, maybe to repent for the people they both couldn't save.
"I won't tell anyone about your story," Nicky said. "It's between us."
He nodded. "Thanks, Lyons."
Ken fell silent, and the rest of the ride was quiet as well. But Nicky was too wound up. She fiddled with the radio, trying to find a station that wasn't playing any bad music. She finally settled on a classic rock station, which was playing "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence.
She seemed to always choose songs that brought up memories.
She glanced over at Ken, who was still listening to the radio. He looked grim and detached, with his eyes on the road. She wondered if he ever went off into his own world, like hers. Into a world where his friend was still alive. A world that hurt in the most addictive way.
Quietly, Nicky continued driving down the long, dark road, and hoped this one would lead to absolution for herself, Ken--and Meghan.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
His hands trembled against the wheel of the car.
Everything was going horribly wrong.
He couldn't believe it. Not only had his last fiancé failed her vows, but now he had nowhere to get rid of her. Until he disposed of his last pathetic excuse for a bride, then he couldn't give his true love the ceremony she deserved. He was nothing, if not faithful.
He was back on the highway now, and his ex-bride was still in the trunk, still kicking, still screaming. In backseat behind him, gagged and bound, was his new woman, his new love.
He had the jitters as he met her bulging eyes in the rear-view mirror. "Don't worry, dear! I told you I'd get rid of her. I promise!"
She made some noise through her gag. He was disappointing her. No, no, he couldn't do that.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart! I promise she'll be gone, and we can be together!"
