Page 24 of When We Live


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It’s up to me… That’s all I find.

Uselessly, I search for an emotion. There is no anger. No resentment, jealousy, or regret.

His emotions are like gemstones, rare and entirely reserved for the time we spend alone together.

He has that typical hazy gaze, signaling that he’s turned on, his brain is stimulated, and his body is ready to experience pleasure.

The new man in the room throws me for a loop, although his presence doesn’t surprise me.

It doesn’t feel like something pre-planned. And what does it mean? Are we taking it to the next level? Having a live audience now? Making things even more complicated?

I wonder if Kai would tell me even if he could.

But right now, there is no time for conversations. I move my eyes to Francisco.

He’s sprawled in a chair just like Kai, his ankle resting on his knee, his fingers clasped behind his neck.

He looks down his nose at me, a lustful grin tilting his lips.

Whatever emotional experiment we’ve had going on, it’s all gone for the moment. And it’s a nice break. Maybe a planned break.

It’s all about the sex again.

About what this was initially supposed to be.

Wanton delight glints in his eyes. He likes what he sees. And he liked what he had witnessed.

They’ve all drawn pleasure out of seeing me with Alejandro, including the stranger in the room.

But Francisco seems to be the most enthralled of all.

He is the voyeur of the group, hands down, although he can’t wait for his turn now.

I move my eyes back to Kai and then Roman. And then back to Kai.

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