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“It wasn’t only that…” he mutters.
“As you say,” I toss at him, anxious to finish our conversation.
Talking about it makes me tense and furious.
I saunter away from them, and later, we all step onto the other ship. We aren’t the only people leaving the boat, although I’ve made arrangements to have us picked up.
We stay quiet for the rest of the trip, and once we reach the shore, we go separate ways––predictably so––although theoretically, we’re all heading to the hotel.
I only breathe better when I find myself in the driver’s seat. Frozen, I look at Alejandro and Francisco leaving.
As their sports car vanishes around the corner, I slump back and try to de-tense. It’s like I’m made of blocks of cement.
What just happened?
What the hell has happened these twenty-four hours?
Things have completely spun out of control, and this new development could easily be the biggest mistake I’ve made and the most consequential night of all.
Alejandro was right.
This wasn’t about the money. It was about Raven. And it happened so damn quickly, like a full-on crash, the kind of violent event one can only grasp at the last moment.
It flutters in front of your eyes, fear coursing through your bones while you get slammed, the shock bigger than anything you’ve ever known.
I’ve been through a few crashes on the race track.
I had great protection and a crew, and my life had never been in danger.
My life is not in danger now, but something else is.
This may be the end. But this could also be an inflection point. A new hard, raw, honest beginning.
One that will be impossible to ignore or conceal.
From this point on, I have less power, and she has more, and it all becomes a wait-and-see game.
The time of giving her pointers is gone.
The time of establishing a frame of reference and a perimeter for her actions is gone too.
What I’ve shared with her won’t come back anytime soon.
It’s do or die, and from this point on, it’s solely up to her.
No more clues. And no more hints. She’s no longer a rookie.
She is my woman, and my heart will burn for her many more times before she comes to me and tells me the truth.
The truth she’ll only find on her own.
I knew how she felt this evening. And she saw how I felt. Was it too early to toss something as big as Roman Cardenas at her?
He wasn't my idea.
He was an opportunity I merely used.
But he wasn’t the problem.
