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More importantly, we all know where we stand right now, and everybody is in the open.
Disappointed, I turn on the engine and steer the car out of the parking lot. At the first crossroads, I turn right, heading up north instead of going back to the hotel.
Later, I drive past my new apartment. I don’t blink or glance at the building, my chest hurting, my brain no longer holding her memory.
This night should’ve been different.
And it was. Just not in the way I had expected.
* * *
RAVEN
Sunday
Several hoursof sleep put some much-needed time and mental space between the last night's whirlwind and the bright reality of a new sunny day.
Sprawled on my stomach, with a leg dangling over the edge of the bed out from under the covers, I stare at the ocean, the place that had pulled me into its darkness before spitting me out, transformed into a wealthier woman.
And I feel nothing.
Maybe it’s too early, and I should have a cup of coffee, take a shower, brush my teeth, take in this new day and think about it again.
I’m in denial for sure. I just can’t believe it. But the idea is in my brain, gaining ground with every moment of reflection.
To me, this is the end of struggling to make a living, and it feels great, while also, strangely, it feels normal. And that scares me to no end.
Two million dollars.
Granted, I have to earn the second million, but the one million arrives this week.
There are so many things I can do.
I can take Giana out, buy her more gifts, help her find a better place to live if she needs one, pay for her school if she plans to further her education and purchase new cars for both of us.
I can also call my foster parents and offer to pay off their mortgage, which has been their most significant financial hurdle since I can remember.
Having money will also allow me to relax for a change.
I can get rid of debt, pay off my mortgage, renovate my place, and live peacefully.
Sleep well, enjoy some time off, sit by the window and stare at the trees or do stuff around the house while planning for the future.
My mind goes blank as I indulge in that scenario when a sickening sensation crawls over me, and I realize something else.
Money can change and replace everything. And money comes with a price. This won’t be different.
Frosted, I stare at the view, my heart wrapped in resentment.
Why did he do it?
Why did Kai say yes to Roman?
How could he do that after the moments we had spent last night at his apartment?
It wasn’t about pleasure. My pleasure. Or their pleasure. For sure, it wasn’t about his pleasure.
He left me there.
