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"Is that my baby? What a surprise!" Mom comes rushing towards us. She throws her arms around me instantly, and that is the last straw. My walls come tumbling down—fast.
Uncontrollable sobs rack through my body. I cling to my mom, wanting nothing more than to be comforted right now. A surprised "oh" spills out of her mouth, and her arms squeeze tighter around me.
"Oh, baby. I'm right here," she murmurs in my ear. She rubs a hand up and down my back to soothe me. I catch Dad's panicked expression over her shoulder and bury my face in her neck.
There's something about your Mom comforting you when you need it that strips you of your defences. It's a special feeling that only a mother can give you. It's amazing. I didn't realize how deprived of it I'd been until Lily hugged me for the first time so long ago.
"Mom, I messed up," I tell her, my chest rising and falling rapidly. My throat is dry and scratchy, my head pounds, and my heart hurts so badly. Everything hurts.
Mom pulls away long enough to lead me over to the couch in front of the armchair. I sit down beside her and pull my legs up into my chest, leaning into her.
"What happened, Ava?" Her tone is warm and gentle, but inquisitive.
"I'm broken," I say miserably and feel a hot surge of anger towards myself. "I pushed him away. What's wrong with me?"
"You are not broken, sweetheart. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you," she scolds, tightening her grip on my shoulders. "Tell me what happened?"
After taking a few deep breaths, I work up the strength to tell her without crying. "I got scared. Everything Dad said was right. I'm not strong enough to wait around at home for him while he's surrounded by everything I'm not."
"Octavia Layton, that is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard!" Mom scolds, her tone sharp enough to cut through my quiet sobs.
"You've been through too much to try and convince me that you're not enough. You're the strongest person I've ever met. From the minute you walked into this house, I knew you were going to be trouble." Her arm tightens around my shoulders as she lets out a chuckle. "You came waltzing through that door like you owned the damn place. I remember looking at your dad in shock. This little hotheaded fifteen-year-old girl with worn-down boots and a superiority complex that terrified me to no end was exactly who we were warned about."
I shake my head at that. I do remember that day. It was the day that I finally agreed to meet with the family, who was apparently so eager to adopt me.
I didn't believe my social worker and decided to give them one hell of a first impression. I shoved on my boots, lined my eyes with way too much eyeliner and even went as far as to push my septum piercing back in with hopes of scaring them away. Thankfully, it didn't work.
The thought of it makes me laugh shakily. "I still remember the look on Dad's face when I put my boots on the coffee table. He looked like he was going to pop a blood vessel."
Dad hurries into the living room with my favourite mug in hand. "Do you still remember what we told you before you left that day?"
"Of course I do," I reply gratefully and take the mug of hot chocolate from him. I take a sip of it, and warmth spreads through me, calming me instantly. They both sit silent as they wait for me to speak again.
"You said that I didn't scare you. And that I didn't need to be scared anymore either." The words bring the familiar sting back to my eyes, and I force them away.
"We said that because not only did we want you to trust us, we needed you to trust us." Mom's voice cracks and a single tear falls down her face. "We saw the hurt inside you, but also the strength. We always knew you were something special. You have always been so brave, Ava, but you need to stop letting your fear of being abandoned control you. You found something good with Oakley. He sees what we do honey, don't let him go."
Her words hit me hard. I flinch back at the realization that she's right.
I've always known that Oakley wasn't like the other guys I've been with. Especially not like my last boyfriend. But I think that just made him more intimidating to me.
Knowing that he was the guy that every girl dreams of having was always sitting in the back of my mind, taunting me. But I think the only thing scarier than knowing how perfect he is, is the thought of him being perfect with someone else.
"I love you. I'm so grateful to be able to call you my family." I smile and hug them tightly.
Maybe some things are worth the risk, just like I was.
