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It's bright in here, making it way too easy for every set of eyes to gawk openly at the two of us as we pass by them on the way to the back of the restaurant.
My body tenses the closer we get to our table. The unknown reason behind this dinner worries me. Our family doesn’t do dinners. We don’t do much of anything, actually, besides throw low blow insults and call each other nasty names like school children who have just learned swear words. We’re as far from a real family as they come, and I know for a fact that I wasn’t brought to one of my brother’s fancy restaurants so we could all hash out whatever has been bothering us. No. He wouldn’t risk losing whatever fake persona he’s shown his employees just to have it out with me. He would have just come to my apartment to do that.
"Relax," Gracie whispers.
"I'm trying," I mumble, squeezing her lower back.
The hostess comes to a stop in front of us and I look up. I spot my mother first. Her chair is pushed up close to the man sitting beside her. The sight of the two of them sitting so close together is enough to make me want to turn and run. Mom looks so cozy beside him, as if he actually treats her well, as if he isn’t the reason she’s so damn broken inside.
Allen couldn’t even bother to dress up tonight. I would have laughed at the stained Metallica t-shirt he’s wearing if it wasn’t for the anger thumping in my chest. They look as out of place as I feel right now.
"We're going home," I spit, seeing red. My arm wraps all the way around Gracie's waist as I pull her flush to my side and spin us around. She lets out a sound of surprise but lets me get us a step away without arguing or pressing me for answers.
"Brother! Where are you going?" His voice makes me tremble. Gracie halts her steps and squeezes my hand, pulling my attention back to her.
"What happened? What's wrong?" she asks, her eyes searching mine for answers I can’t give her.
"I didn't think he was coming," I stammer as fear sinks its uninvited claws into my skin.
"Who? Your brother? Of course, he would be here," she says in utter bemusement. I can't blame her for her confusion. I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut.
"Talk to me." She squeezes my hands tighter.
"My step-dad. He's sitting beside my mom." The words burn my throat and they stumble off my tongue.
I open my eyes to watch her, scouring the seats behind us for the man who loves to refer to himself as my father. She nods when she sees him and turns her head back to me looking at me with an obvious concern.
"It'll be okay. I'm a big girl," she says lightly in an attempt to calm me and places a hand on my cheek. I lean into her touch, trying desperately to wash away the feeling that is now swallowing me whole. She doesn't know why I am shamefully terrified of the scrawny man waiting for us at the table, and I hope it stays that way. River knowing about Gracie was bad enough without adding Allen into the mix. He doesn't need anything else to use against me, and that's exactly what he will do with her. "If it gets bad, we'll leave. Okay? Just give me a sign, and we'll blow this popsicle stand."
She's watching me with a determined glint in her eyes. One I have come to know very well—well enough to know that it would be stupid of me to think I could make her leave now anyway.
"Okay." I nod.
"Okay." She smiles up at me, grabs my hand, and leads me back towards the table.
I set my jaw as the three of them turn their attention to us.
River watches us with a smug smile on his face. He sits back against the silk chair that sits at the head of the table, hands clasped in front of him.
"About time. Did you need a pep talk before you could come talk to me, Tyler?" He smirks, baiting me into starting a fight with him already.
Gracie grins as she sticks a pin in his pettiness. "I'm Gracie. It's so lovely to meet you, River." I sit down across from Allen and keep my eyes focused anywhere but on him.
"What a beautiful name. It's so nice to meet you. Mom has told me all about how wonderful you are." River winks at her and flashes her a cocky grin as she sits down in the remaining chair next to me.
"I wish I could say the same, but I didn't even know you existed until a week ago," she replies politely—casually even— an easy smile resting on her lips.She grasps my hand in hers.
River's eyes narrow as he stares at her, head tilting slightly. "Is that so? He has always been so scared of me stealing his toys," he sneers, his top lip curled.
My teeth grind together as my anger starts to grow. "How's your wife? Where is she tonight? The whore house?" I cock my brow and watch as his confidence falters.
"Don't you fucking—" he starts, his voice tight with unsuppressed rage.
"That's enough, you two. We are here to have dinner together as a family, not to bicker like children," Mom snaps from across the table.
I look forward, my eyes zoning in on the hand that is wrapped so tightly around hers. "Do I not get a proper introduction, Tyler?” Allen speaks up, his gravelly voice rubbing roughly against my eardrums the way it always has. “I thought I taught you better manners than that."
"Allen, this is Gracie. But you already knew that," I add quietly. I look at him for the first time in months. His gaze is already fixed on mine. The unforgiving dark shadows still hang prominently underneath his sunken eyes, and his top lip is curled, revealing the same yellow still staining his rotting teeth.
"It's nice to meet you," Gracie says with a forced smile. I feel her inch closer to my side.
"Do me a favour and keep my son under control tonight, would you, doll?"
