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"Welllll," Theo drawled, leaning back in his seat and lacing his hands behind his head. "When River was little, the thing she wanted most in the world was to be a unicorn when she grew up."
I slumped over in my seat and covered my face with my hands.
"No, River, do not be embarrassed, it is charming," Luca said. "But how does this relate to archaeology?"
"I'm so glad you asked," Theo said gleefully. "It just so happens that there is an obscure children's book about a girl that becomes an archaeologist. She finds evidence that unicorns were once real and lived among humans many millennia ago, and through the series she eventually discovers that they still exist, and befriends one."
"No." Luca's voice was delighted.
"Oh yes," Theo said.
"I know unicorns aren't real," I mumbled through my hands.
"Hmm, what else," Theo said thoughtfully, still ignoring me. "At home, she still sleeps with the same stuffed squirrel she's had since she was a child."
I dropped my hands from my face and let my head fall back against the headrest with a thunk. "I hope the two of you are having fun."
"Not at your expense," Luca assured me, sending a smile through the rearview mirror that made me feel a little warm inside. "I only wish to learn more about you. Besides," he teased, "you are lovely when you blush."
That only made my cheeks flame hotter.
"If it makes you feel better, I am happy to hear embarrassing details about Theo as well," Luca offered.
I grinned. That was easy enough. "Teddy has an undying love of Korean pop music and sings in the shower."
Theo groaned, but Luca cast him an appraising glance. "This I would like to hear."
Wait, what?
No. Surely I'd read more into that comment than was meant to be there, but when I looked up I found Theo's face blazing just as brilliant a red as mine was. If I was putting innuendo where it wasn't supposed to be, I wasn't the only one.
And we were only fifteen minutes into an eight hour car ride. I shook my head. It was time to shut this bonding session down. If I was going to survive this trip, I needed to put my focus on the things that mattered the most.
"Okay," I said, ignoring the entirely new flavor of tension that was developing in the front of the car and hauling the box into my lap. I stuck my hand between the seats. "Give me the translation."
21
"I don't understand a single word I'm reading. Are you sure you translated this into English?"
Theo laughed.
I shook my head, carefully turning a page of the book and matching it up with Dr. Neath's translation. "Seriously, though, I thought this was going to be some religious text from the sixteenth century. You know, sermons, fire and brimstone, stuff like that. But this…is this a recipe for soup?"
Luca glanced at Theo. "Did no one tell her what it was?"
I flipped to another page and read aloud. "'Take a well-washed potato and put it to boil in water, when cooked it must be peeled and cut into slices, melted butter thereon, and pepper'—what the fuck?"
"It's a cookbook, River," Theo said. "I thought you knew."
I turned the page again. "'Knead the dough, flatten it with a rolling pin, cut it like the potato léngos. Add black pepper, saffron, ginger and small grapes.' But—but I—" I spluttered.
"Deep breaths," Theo advised.
I resisted the urge to slam the book shut, closing it gently instead and replacing it in its bed of protective packaging. "Why, exactly, was there a cookbook hidden inside a stone box, inside a sixteenth-century chapel, in a Velartan hillfort, giving out mysterious GPR readouts, and flashing heat and light and aging overnight and making me sleepwalk?" My voice had risen throughout my tirade and I finished in a pitch I feared only dogs could hear.
"Well, now," Theo said, "I assume that's what this mysterious mountain man is going to help us figure out."
"Why are you always so logical?" I grumbled.
