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It was, as it turned out, the Velartan equivalent of a big-box store: a half-kilometer off the highway, between a gas station and a fast-food restaurant, and stocked with Theo's mass-produced puffer vests as well as plenty of other outdoors equipment. The incongruity of Luca in a neon-lit strip mall almost made me forget the reasons we were camping in the first place, and I couldn't hold back a smile as we walked through the well-stocked aisles.
"What…is this?" Luca said. He had picked up a mylar packet between two fingertips and was looking at it as though it was a particularly disgusting bug.
"Oh, that stuff's great!" Theo said cheerfully. He tossed a few of the packets into the cart. "Dehydrated camping food. You just add water. And they're self-heating."
"Self-heating," Luca repeated slowly. He put the packet down. "Interesting."
Julian was regarding a portable stove with raised eyebrows. "Hm," he said, turning the box over to read the back. "Not bad." He put it in the cart.
"Air mattresses," I said, picking up two of them. "I'm not sleeping on the ground without air mattresses."
"Wimp," Theo said, grinning.
"I agree with River." Luca retrieved a third air mattress and gave Theo a disparaging look. "We are not animals."
"Yeah, just demons," I muttered, tossing two pillows onto the pile of gear.
Julian had wandered into the next aisle and was examining two small boxes. He made a face, then came back to the cart and dropped both boxes in.
"I already got lanterns," Theo said.
Julian shook his head. "They are not for light," he said, indicating the boxes of candles. "They're for the…ritual."
I raised my eyebrows. "Does the ritual involve mosquitoes? These are citronella."
He shrugged. "It's all they have."
"Ooookay," I said darkly. "Well, I guess if I don't get exorcised, at least we won't be itchy."
"River," Theo said, looking pained.
I wrinkled my nose at him. "Sorry."
"Come," Luca said. "We have enough for now, and I'm sure Julian needs other supplies."
I picked up a can of bug spray. "In case the candles don't cut it," I suggested.
Julian's lips curved in a small, wry smile. "No," he said, taking the can out of my hand and placing it into the cart, "but still, not a bad idea."
"Beef jerky," Theo said. "Beef jerky is camping food. Do they not have beef jerky in Europe?"
Julian arched an eyebrow at him. "Must you always think with your stomach?"
"Is there another way to think?" Theo said.
"You're awfully cheerful about this," I said crossly, tossing a pack of jerky at Theo, harder than was strictly necessary.
He caught it, his grin faltering. "I'm not."
"Could've fooled me."
He put the jerky back on the shelf and reached for my hand. "The truth is," he said quietly, with a self-conscious glance at Luca and Julian, "I'm scared, River. Really fucking scared."
My breath caught in my throat. "Oh."
"So if I'm not…” He paused. "Acting exactly like you'd expect, just know…just know it's because…well, that's why." He pulled away, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shuffling down the aisle toward the candy.
Part of me wanted to go after him, but I wasn't sure what I could say to make it better. Besides, I was really fucking scared, too.
