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11
ABIGOR
The iridescent glimmer of her wings vanished from sight and I realized she’d cloaked herself in her shroud, hiding herself from view. Panic cleared my haze of desire, instantly bringing me back to sharp reality.
“Lilin,” I called, taking off after her. She hadn’t followed the path toward the lake; instead, she’d run toward the dense trees bordering the village. What if I lost her in the woods? What if she returned to Heaven? I would never find her. The thought was enough to rob me of my breath.
It was late afternoon, and I stepped into the long shadow of a house and twisted, letting the darkness swallow me and carry me forward. I reappeared at the edge of the woods.
“Lilin!” There was no sign of her.
Another shadow, a twist and a jump. Deeper into the forest, thick trees blocking out the sunlight. I spun in circles, scanning the underbrush and calling her name.
No answer.
The memory of her was so close to the surface, it was like I could still feel her. Her lips under mine, immeasurably soft and warm. Her hands clutching tight to my shoulders as if the same tempest that had swirled in me gripped her too. Heaven and Hell were wrong, couldn’t she see that? The mandate was wrong. Nothing that felt the way she did in my arms could be forbidden.
“Lilin!” My voice broke on the call. Another shadow, another jump. Another. I didn’t even know where I was, how long I’d been searching.
Had she not felt it, the current between us? Surely she couldn’t have held me like that, kissed me like that, if she hadn’t felt it.
Twist, jump. Gnarled tree roots and a thick cover of fallen leaves. Leafy canopy blocking the sky. Not a sign of shimmering white wings or glossy black hair.
Heat sparked in my palms. I could burn down the forest. Would I find her then? What if she was already gone?
“Please,” I called, forcing down the heat. “Don’t go. Just talk to me. You felt that, I know you did.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, tipping my face toward the sky. “I don’t think we’re supposed to be apart.”
It was madness, but a part of me knew with bone-deep certainty.
Fine. I may not know where she was, but she knew where I was. Opening my eyes, I gathered my emotions: the certainty I felt that there was something more than what we had been taught, that there was something right between us; the fear at the thought of losing her; the longing and desire and hope. I gathered it up, and sent it blasting outward in a shockwave of emotion. If she was still here, let her feel it. Then I sat, leaning back against the trunk of a tree and closing my eyes.
“Abigor.” Her voice was a whisper.
My eyes flew open, but there was no one there. No one visible, anyway. I thought I’d imagined it, but then I felt the light pressure of a fingertip against my cheek, of her palm cupping my face. The touch was gentle, and I leaned into it, relief flooding through me.
“Why did you run?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
“I was afraid,” she admitted. “I am afraid. What we’re doing, what we’ve been doing—it’s forbidden. We’ve caused so much damage already…”
“So why didn’t you leave?” I asked. I held my breath, hoping it wasn’t a mistake to push her.
She was quiet for so long, I wouldn’t have been sure she was still there if it hadn’t been for the gentle pressure against my cheek. Finally she sighed. “I’ve never felt anything like that before. Even now, can you feel it?” She increased the pressure of her hand against my face, and it was like sparks danced between us.
“But I don’t understand it,” she went on. “I’ve touched you before. I’ve held your hand, or touched your arm, and it wasn’t like this.”
I raised my hand, pressing it to hers where it laid against my cheek. The sensation increased, bringing something to life deep inside me. “I don’t know,” I said, already beginning to lose myself in the feeling of her skin against mine. “I’ve never felt like this before.”
Her hand moved from under mine, sliding up to brush a lock of hair off my forehead. I felt her fingertips brush lightly over the ridges of one horn. I sighed, aching to be able to return her touch.
“Show yourself,” I begged. “Let me see you.”
She hesitated, and then with a flicker, she was there. She knelt before me, hair falling in a shining curtain over one shoulder, one hand wrapped tentatively around my horn. Her eyes were glistening as they met mine. It took everything I had not to reach for her, pull her against me, but I didn’t want her to run again.
She must have seen the effort it took me, because she released my horn. Her hand hovered in midair between us, then landed lightly on my shoulder. An expression came over her face that looked almost like pain. “I’m afraid to break the rules.”
I held her gaze, barely daring to breathe lest she break the connection. “What if the rules are wrong?”
The pained look intensified. “They’re not wrong,” she said. “We’ve already destroyed so much.”
Gently, I lifted one hand. I felt the heat of her breath, the way it caught when my thumb brushed over her lower lip. “Lilin,” I said. “There’s no destruction in this.”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she closed her eyes. She stayed like that, motionless, and for a moment, my heart turned to ice: would she vanish? Wrap herself in her cloak and cross back to her world of light and order?
But—
When her eyes opened, they blazed with something that burned brighter than any flame in Hell. Her hand tightened on my shoulder, bracing against me as she pushed her glittering gown out of the way and lifted herself to kneel astride me. She bent low, her lips a hairsbreadth from mine.
“Prove it,” she growled, and kissed me.
