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I hoped the hot flush of jealousy burning my cheeks wasn’t too obvious, but I nodded all the while, well aware that Nicolo owed me no explanations. I told him as much.
“Because I respect you and… your feelings,” he further explained. “I wanted to discuss as much with you.”
I nodded again and was angry with myself—at the emotional reaction this news was having on me. Nicolo was my target, nothing more and nothing less. The more I forced that message home, the better I would be.
“I appreciate your respect,” I answered in a soft voice.
“Try on the gown. Let me know if it doesn’t fit or if you don’t like it.” He held up a hand. “Actually, let me know if it doesn’t fit…” Then he smiled broadly. “I don’t care if you don’t like it, you’ll wear it anyway.”
With that, I turned on my heel and walked to my room with a cold empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and hot flushes passing across my skin like waves.
***
The dress, lying on my bed, was deep red, cut low in the bodice and fitted at the waist and hip before flowing down to the ground in numerous skirts. When I tried it on, I realized it fit me perfectly and as I looked in the mirror, I half-wondered who the beautiful girl was staring back at me. The other thing I noticed was the immense slit that ran up one of my thighs. It was difficult to notice as there were so many folds of fabric in the skirts, but I would have to be careful to keep from revealing too much flesh.
Yes, the gown was perfect. But it was pointless.
He no longer wanted me. He’d just made that abundantly clear—as to how he’d been able to turn his feelings off so quickly? I wasn’t sure. Maybe they’d never been there in the first place. Maybe he truly was as cold as rumors claimed him to be.
I sat on the bed, feeling so frustrated, I could have clawed my own skin off. I ought to have been concerned that this whole setback would make my task so much harder, but I couldn’t kid myself; that wasn’t why I was feeling the way I was.
I had an itch I couldn’t scratch and now it seemed Nicolo wasn’t going to scratch it either. Instead, he planned on spending the evening scratching the itches of other women.
***
Two Days Later
The banquet was as impressive as I’d come to expect from the celebrations staged by the Great Castle.
While the days since Nicolo and I had talked about the nature of our ‘association’ had done nothing to dispel the knot of frustration tied up in my belly, I still enjoyed walking through the doors of the hall beside him and seeing the extraordinary scene before us.
“I see the dress fits you,” he’d whispered as made his acquaintance and he gave me a quick scan from head to toe.
I didn’t care what he thought—I knew I looked stunning. With my golden hair falling around my shoulders in bountiful curls and the rouge and stain on my lips that matched the hue of the dress, I couldn’t imagine a time I felt more beautiful. Perhaps the night of the masque…
Nicolo cleared his throat and his attention was no longer mine. I took my place beside him and we navigated the halls, directly behind Prince Balduin, who was offering everyone smiles of welcome as we entered.
Something had definitely changed between the two of us—there were no lingering gazes, no quick head-to-toes that attempted to go unnoticed. It was as if Nicolo had somehow turned off that part of him that felt attracted to me. And I had no idea how—maybe the intensity of his attraction to me had never been as great as mine to him?
As we walked into the Great Hall, my heart was somewhere around my feet and in an attempt to cheer myself up, I forced myself to take note of the incredible landscape of the room around me. The long tables were laid with silver cutlery and lit by golden candelabras. Seated along them were the nobility of the court and honored guests from further afield (some even from beyond the Gath), decked out in their finest; dazzling in their glittering colors like birds of paradise, all trying to outdo the other. Between the tables, stewards and maids darted in the brilliant red uniforms reserved for only the most celebratory of occasions.
In that moment, it felt as if the whole thing was in celebration of Nicolo, and in a way it was. It was his achievement that was being celebrated here tonight, and the fact that the credit had gone elsewhere only detracted slightly from how special everything felt.
In a small and secret way, I also reveled in the envious hatred being leveled at me by what felt like every woman in the room, from the lowest ranked maid to the highest ranked duchess (and at least two princesses in attendance). I was here with the master, and they all would have given years off their life to be on the receiving end of his attention, even if they were all equally terrified of him.
Of course, later in the evening, when things became more convivial, I would be the one staring enviously as he moved from woman to woman, picking the one with whom he would spend the night in sexual conquest. But for now, I enjoyed the feeling of being the only one.
Usually, Nicolo was seated to the right of his friend, but tonight, the prince was the guest of honor and so Balduin was seated on a level with the Old Queen, rather than to her right, as befitted the heir. As Nicolo was not to be associated with Balduin, he’d dropped several rungs, finding himself right at the end of the head table with various people who hated him. I wondered if there was another reason for shunting Nicolo out of the way like this; rumors were already circulating that it had been Nicolo, not Balduin, who had brought Wylder to heel, so it was sensible to make the master as inconspicuous as possible.
The one seat further from the center than Nicolo’s was mine, just to his right, but I was still at the head table, and that was quite something for someone who’d been a maid not so long ago.
“Comfortable?” asked Nicolo.
“Yes. Thank you, Master.” The isolation of where we’d been seated might work to my advantage as Nicolo had no one to talk to but me and I might be able to work my way back into his affections.
So, you can work your way into his bed and kill him, once and for all,I reminded myself. Not that I needed to—I was now determined to see my task to fruition, more so than ever before. This whole…situationhad taught me a very valuable lesson and one I wouldn’t need to learn again—I would never get attached to my target ever again. Frankly, I was ashamed of myself to know my emotions had intercepted my logic where Nicolo was concerned and if the Guild knew how I’d strayed, they would be as ashamed of me as I was of myself.
The stewards poured wine while the maids served the first course. Nicolo seemed largely uninterested in the food.
