AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It hurts like hell. I knew it was going to hurt, but by all that is holy, the way a leather belt catches my ass is like pure fire being unleashed on my vulnerable body. He hasn’t even taken my pants down yet. I know he will. Nothing he does is by halves, and if he has a reason to bare me and claim me, he does. He is an absolute monster who ignites my loins — usually with desire, but I am not sure Shah makes any real distinction between lust and pain.
The sound of the belt hitting my ass is like the crack of a gunshot. I try to stay quiet, because that feels like control, but it’s not really. I have no control when I am with Shah. I never had control before Shah either. My entire existence has been at the mercy of forces beyond my control.
His belt lands again. And again. I don’t think I can take twenty-four. There have been five so far, and even six feels like an impossible stretch. Shah doesn’t care.
“Shah! Please! I’m sorry!”
He pauses.
“What are you sorry for, Dreamy?”
“I’m sorry for disobeying you,” I say. That’s a safe thing to say. I don’t care if I have to apologize for Zeki. Maybe I will say I hit her. Maybe that’ll earn some respect. Right now, with the belt lashing my butt, there’s no respect coming my way.
“And?”
“I’m sorry for punching Zeki so hard I broke her nose. With my fist. I crunched her bones right into her skull.” I’m trying to make it sound convincing. I don’t know what it actually feels like to hit anybody, let alone punch them in the face.
Shah
For the first time, I glance down at Dreamy’s hands. I finally notice she doesn’t have a mark on her knuckles. If she’d punched Zeki, she would have bruised or bloodied hands. Her hands are as soft and as undamaged as ever. She was telling the truth in the beginning when she denied everything.
“Shit.”
I stop lashing her, glad I only got to five. I was going to show her what a true whipping was. The five lashes I gave her already were robust and stern. I’m sure she’s already aching with pain — and knowing her, dripping with need. My masochistic little worker is not in control of her instincts. Are any of us? I am being confronted with my own instinct — to punish. I punish without regard for reason. I establish either my dominance or my cruelty. I never cared which before. With Dreamy, I feel different. Guilty, perhaps. It’s a strange feeling and I do not like it. I know she’s vulnerable. Another word for it would be weak.
Dreamy is powerless against me. It would be so easy to ruin her. I have to be more careful. I have to be less certain. That’s going to be almost completely fucking impossible. My instinct is to never give the benefit of the doubt to anyone besides myself.
“So,” I say clearing my throat. I see her wince at the sound, as if she’s afraid it heralds pain. “You didn’t actually hit Zeki, did you?”
“No,” she whimpers. “I didn’t. I told you…”
“I know. I should have looked at your hands. Not a mark on them. It’s pretty hard to break someone’s nose without reddening your knuckles.”
There’s a sniff. “So, you believe me?”
I pick her up. She’s warm and limp and understandably sad. Cradling her in my arms, I make my apologies. “I am used to people lying to me. I’m sorry I didn’t consider you might be telling the truth.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Shah. Not even when I should have. Remember?”
“I do remember,” I say. “I’ve staked my life on your honesty. I don’t know why I defaulted to disbelief. From now on, I’ll consider you innocent until proven otherwise.”
“Thank you.” She curls up against me, hiding with me, from me. I feel a pang of guilt, another revelation. She’s terrified of me, but she has nobody else to comfort her besides me.
“Shah?”
“Yes, Dreamy?”
“Why am I here? There are so many women on this ship who want you. They’d do anything for you. I’m nobody. I’m a worker drone.”
“I know women want me,” I say. There’s no point pretending I don’t know. “But they don’t want me. They wantShah. They want the status, the prestige, the connections, the money, the power… you helped me at a time when I offered you nothing. If you come to like me even a little, it won’t be because of who I am. It will be in spite of it.”
She’s hiding her eyes and her face from me, so I cannot read her expression. I can, however, feel some of the tension in her body slide away.
“You care if I like you?”
She’s braver than she gives herself credit for, asking that question, standing up to Zeki, then trying to explain herself to me, the great tyrant. Her strength is not loud, but it is constant. I admired her from the moment I met her because of that quiet fortitude.
“Like is a strong word, Dreamy.”
