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“I thought you’d have the same birth control implant all the drones have. So workers can’t get pregnant.”
“I don’t know,” I say, sensing that I’m in trouble. “I was never given a procedure for that. Did I do something wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Shah says. His words might be reassuring, but his tone is anything but.
Shah
She didn’t lead the authorities to us. But I could have knocked her up.
“Is she…” I ask the doctor. “Is there…”
“She’s not pregnant.”
“Good. Last thing we need in the middle of this is a baby.”
“They’d blame the baby for turning them in, probably.” Dreamy mutters the words under her breath. It’s a small moment of sass at the absolute worst time. I want to laugh, but I also want to whip her ass for speaking that way.
“You have something to say, Dreamy?”
Her eyes dart about and she takes a deep breath, gathering her nerve. “I don’t mean to be rude. I am only a worker drone. I know my opinion means nothing here, but it would seem to me that the odds of one of the many, many, many, many criminals you have swilling meals and beverages on your ship somehow gaining access to information surreptitiously and using it to their own advantage are higher than me being a robot for the authorities. You are surrounded by enemies, Shah.”
That is the most consecutive words she has ever said to me, and they contain a pretty devastating judgement that might not be entirely wrong.
I’m torn between my asshole outrage that she dared to speak to me that way, and a certain admiration for the courage I know it must have taken her to say any of it. Dreamy has never been taught to speak up for herself.
Then it occurs to me. She’s not speaking up for herself. She’s speaking upfor me. She’s risking my ire because she cares that I am being betrayed by those I trust and not seeing it.
I pick her up from the medical bed, enjoying the squeak of uncertainty that emerges from her as I swing her into my arms and hold her close.
“You,” I say, “are mine.”
The words don’t really convey what I feel, but they will have to do.
9
Dreamy
I’m his. His, aboard a ship full of wounded, suspicious, violent criminals, at least one of whom has betrayed him. Shah has always seemed larger than life, more powerful than I can express. Now he suddenly seems vulnerable. He could kill anybody who needed to be killed, but without knowing who to kill, he’s almost helpless.
“I’m going to put you back in my quarters,” he says. “I want you to keep the doors shut. If anybody tries to enter who isn’t me, I want you to use this.”
He presses a weapon into my hand, a simple little laser bolt. Things like this are very illegal back in the Colony. It can be activated by the thumb while it is palmed in the hand, the laser emerging from the far end meaning death as it emanates from the curl of my little finger.
“Anybody who isn’t me, you kill,” he repeats. “I don’t care who it is. Do you understand?”
I nod.
“Dreamy,” he says. “Your life may depend on this. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I understand,” I assure him verbally.
I don’t know if I could ever hurt somebody. I’ve never thought of doing so before. I’ve certainly never considered that I might have to hurt someone to defend myself. I’m not built for Shah’s life. I don’t belong in his world. I was made to live in a safe little contained world, to carry out tasks, and to make no decisions at all. It’s truly possible that the only decisions I ever made were helping Shah when he needed it and going to club Omega. Is that all it takes to define a life? Two decisions? I suppose most people I know never even make one.
* * *
Back in Shah’s rooms, he briefs me. “We’re going to be transferring Zeki to the hospital as soon as we dock there. I’m going to go with her and Malik. Don’t open the door until we return. If it opens, and I’m not the one walking through it, you know what to do.”
Three times now he’s commanded me to kill someone in cold blood. He really does not know me very well. I know I won’t be able to push that button, no matter what. I nod, though, because I know that is what he wants me to do. Now is not the time to indulge in a crisis of confidence. Shah needs me to obey, and that is the one thing I have some experience in doing. Compliance is my superpower.
