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“What do you mean?“ she asks.
“I don't know,“ I say. “I mean, maybe I'm catastrophizing.“
“Don't do that shit, ?Luke?,“ she says. “I need you to tell me the truth. Stop trying to protect me. Just give it to me straight.“
I sigh. “Okay,“ I say. “Remember how I told you that the demons would keep the person alive for as long as they needed to in order to get whatever they wanted out of them?“
“You told me like a minute ago, so yes,“ she replies.
I hold back a smile. She's clearly annoyed. I shouldn't find this cute. “Well, alright. So essentially, when something like this happens, it takes over your life. You start seeing, doing things, that wouldn't be how you normally did things. Things that don't go along with...with how you see yourself.“
“What do you mean?“
“You're a good person, ?Trine?,“ I tell her. “It's harder to be a good person when the demons that are still plaguing your soul start to thwart your mind.“
“What do you mean bythat?“
“I mean that you start doing things you shouldn't be doing. Things you don't want to do.“
She puts her hand on mine, her grasp so tight it almost hurts. She's soft and warm and I want to pull over and wrap my arms around her, but I will do no such thing. I make a mental note not to be alone with her because I clearly lose all control I normally have more discipline, but she makes me feel so on edge.
Like a horny, impulsive fucking kid.
“You're going to have to speak a bit more plainly than that,“ she says, her voice catching in her throat. “You're going to have to tell me exactly what you mean.“
I nod, swallowing and looking away from her, because if I keep looking at her profile–at the tip of her nose, at the way her hair curls around her neck–I'm going to succumb to my dark desires.
And it's not going to be pretty.
I take my vows seriously. And Trine Lange is temptation personified. I want her so much. I think I want her more than I've ever wanted anything, more than I've ever wanted anyone.
I've never been in love—I don't think–but whatever this is, it feels like love. And that…fuck, that scares the shit out of me. Because I don't know how to handle it. I know how to handle desire. I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle this. How I'm supposed to handle her.
How do I save her, when the very thought of it is making me lose myself?
“You'll just start doing things you never thought yourself capable of doing,“ I reply when I see the worry written all over her face. “At first, it'll be small things, like shoplifting...“
She tries to hold back laughter. “Sorry to say, Father Salinas, that ship sailed a few years ago.“
“Okay, not like shoplifting,“ I reply, barely able to hold back my own smile. “Something you find morally wrong. Like...I don't know, not helping a stray. I can't see you not helping a stray animal.“
She grimaces. “You're right. That sounds awful.“
“You're a good person, Trine,“ I say. “You do your best. You...you'll start letting yourself down. Doing things you'd question in other people. Everyone has a moral code and you're going to find yourself questioning your own choices. It's a difficult way to live.“
She takes her hand off mine. “How would you know that?“
I glare at her. “I mean. I am a priest.“
“But you've never been possessed.“
“No. But I've been around a lot of possessed people.“
“And this always happens?“
I swallow. I guess I've already started this conversation, so I can't exactly stop. “Yeah, I mean, if they live long enough. Or if they don't get help quickly enough.“
She groans, throwing her head back and sinking into the seat. “Fuck,“ she whimpers.
