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All I’m paying attention to is the way Misha leans his head back on the sofa, his arms extended and muscular so I can see the way his biceps look. There’s a part of me that wants to touch him, but we’re not sitting close to each other, and I know he’s doing that by design.
I’m not an idiot.
But I’m glad I’m thinking about that and the way his muscles would feel under my fingertips instead of going to visit my mother in the morning.
Misha takes a sip of his drink then sets it down on the little coffee table in front of him. “Do you want to talk about it?“
I shake my head. “No. There’s nothing to say,“ I reply. “I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know what you guys want me to say, I’m just…“
“Nervous?“ he asks when I trail off.
I shake my head again. “I was going to say terrified, but sure, nervous works.“
He looks me up and down. I think he’s going to ask me if she’s scary or if I’m overreacting, but he does no such thing. “I get it,“ he says. “I don’t talk to my parents either. I wish there was a way I could make it easier for you.“
“How do you do it?“ I ask him, meeting his gaze. I remember him telling me he talks to them when he has to because he has young siblings.
He sighs. “It’s not the same. I’m not asking my parents for help,“ he says. “It’s a small sacrifice…I’m essentially making them aware that I’m keeping an eye on them and that they need to treat the kids better than they treated me or my sister, right? I don’t need their help. I’m a threat. It’s totally different.“
I laugh. “That’s harsh.“
“No, it’s just the way things are,“ he says. “It must be harder for you, since you’re going to have to ask her to help you.“
I tuck my legs under myself. “She just never wanted me,“ I say. “I don’t know why she’d want to help.“
He knits his brows, but he says nothing.
I sigh, suddenly fighting back tears. “Sorry. That’s a lot, I didn’t mean to…“
“No, don’t apologize,“ he says. “I’m here to listen.“
“You don’t have to listen. I don’t have anything else to say.“
He narrows his eyes. He doesn’t say anything, he just inches closer to me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to his warmth. He breathes hard against the top of my head and I can feel his heart fluttering in his chest. “Well, she’s wrong,“ he says. “And for what it’s worth, I’m here.“
I feel something tug at the corner of my lips. Maybe it’s crazy, but I think it’s worth a lot.
MISHA
Ididn’t come in here to sleep with Trine.
I came in here because I wanted to help her. Whatever else is happening in her life I know this has to be hard for her. Being possessed is one thing, but having to go back to her estranged mother–she hasn’t spoken to me about it much, but I know it can’t be good.
I get that, probably more than anyone else. Definitely more than Woods and Salinas, at least.
But she’s pressing her body against me and I can feel the warmth of her skin on my own, the scent of her citrusy shampoo intoxicating.
I want to make her feel better, not think about how much I want to kiss her. I pull her even closer to me, leaning my head against the crown of her head and feeling her breathe softly under me.
We’ve had sex before, but it wasn’t like this. This feels more intimate. This is just the two of us. I had fun when Rei took her to my room for a threesome, but this feels likemorethan that.
She’s definitely closer to Rei than she is to me. They’re friends. He took the chance before I did and now I’m paying the consequences because I’m a fucking dumbass.
Even then, she’s curled up next to me, and I can feel how quickly her heart is beating, how her breathing gets faster.
She turns to look at me, her brown eyes widening as her gaze settles on me. Her hands are on my chest and she’s closing the space between us, her gaze flitting between my eyes and my lips, her pupils expanding and covering almost her entire irises.
“I don’t want to talk, Misha,“ she says. “I want to forget.“
