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“I know,” she says. “But at least Malon is physically here. That seems to scare whatever the fuck is in my head. I know it’s still present, it’s just not the only thing I can think about. I guess that was the same with Ash and my mom. Right now, to be honest, I kind of wish I was thinking about that instead.”
I draw her into a hug. She presses her face into my chest. I feel her tears staining my white shirt, her shoulders moving. She’s warm and soft, and when I brush her hair back over her shoulder, she picks up her head to look at me again.
She parts her lips as she does. “Can you help me?” she asks.
“I can’t exorcise your memories. But I can be there for you.”
“I don’t want you to be there for me,” she says, pulling away from me. “I don’t want you to pray for me. I want you to help me forget.”
“Tell me what you want me to do,” I say as her brown eyes bore into mine.
“I want to think about anything other than this,” she says. “I wouldn’t ever ask you to do something you don’t want to do, I just…”
My hand slides from her shoulders to hold her by her waist, her body soft against mine. I press her close to me as my lips almost capture hers. I should probably stop this, but it’s just one time.
We won’t do this again.
I’m better than this. I know how to resist temptation most of the time, but when it comes to Trine, I’m absolutely powerless. She slides her hand down the front of my shirt toward the waistband of my pants, her fingers curling under it.
“You don’t have to do this,” she says. “I don’t want to force you into anything.”
“You’re not forcing me into anything,” I tell her. “I want to do this.”
She opens her mouth to say something else, but I press my lips against hers. Our kiss is soft; it only lasts a few seconds. But it seems to be enough to get her to understand that I want this as much as she does. Our tongues spar in her mouth as my hands slide toward the front of her kimono, which I slide down the side of her body, letting my nails dig into her skin as I do.
Any part of me that thinks I shouldn’t do this is silenced by the way she moans when I do; a sweet, soft, feminine sound that seems to come from the back of her throat. Her scent is intoxicating, dark chocolate and salt, and her kisses taste like honey. I slide my hands toward her thighs, setting her against the counter as I do.
She makes quick work of taking off my shirt, throwing it on the floor around us somewhere. Our bodies are flush against each other so it’s hard for her to get any leverage, and she can obviously tell how turned on I am from brushing her hand against the front of my pants.
She throws her head back and groans quietly as she scratches down my stomach, finally undoing my zipper. She looks down at me when she does, her breath catching for a second as she does. “Fuck,” she says, biting down on her lower lip. “You’recelibate?”
I laugh. “Don’t remind me.”
“What a waste,” she says. She’s about to say something else, but I stop her again, kissing her passionately. If she keeps talking like this, I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to last. I grab the bottom of her bikini and slide it down her legs, until it falls at our feet. I pull away from her as I prop her higher up on the counter, her hands on my shoulders. “Wait, Luke. Are you sure about this?”
“Yes,” I say. “I’m definitely sure about this.”
There’s no part of me that’s second guessing this. This doesn’t just feel right, something about it feels divine.
Holy.
“Go slow,” she says as I line my cock against her. “You’re so big, I don’t know if I can…”
“Yes,” I say, pushing into her. “Don’t worry. I’ll go as slow as you want. You’re in control.”
She throws her head back again, swallowing hard as her fingers make divots in my skin. She holds herself up as I fuck her, her legs finally wrapped around me. I press her into the counter as I press into her, slowly, just like she asked me to. I don’t want to hurt her.
“You don’t have to be this gentle,” she says, as if she can read my mind. “I’m not going to break if you fuck me hard.”
I laugh, pressing a kiss against her throat. “This is for my benefit,” I reply. “It’s been a while.”
She laughs too. “Is it as good as you remembered?”
“No,” I say, looking into her eyes as I speed up a little. I tilt my head down to rake my teeth down her pulse before I speak again, my breath hot against her salty skin. “This is so, so much better than I remembered. You’re a fucking vision. Being inside you…I think this is the closest to heaven I’ve ever been in my entire life.”
“Fuck,” she says, her legs tightened around me as I press deeper, harder into her, until she’s whimpering and I’m filling her up entirely as I lose myself inside of her. She meets each thrust with arched hips, her head tilted back, her blonde hair swaying beneath her as I fuck her hard.
“Does that feel good?” I ask as I fuck her hard, deep, until she’s moaning again.
