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“No, a chauffeur. This is Dimitri. Listen, I’m trying to find out who’s been tinkering with dark-elf alchemy to poison my boss. You have any dark elves forclients?”
“Oh, no. I have only heard rumors about them. They do not come up here.” She waved to the street and the square. “And they do not purchase goods from outsiders. Have you spoken toZoltan?”
“Isn’t he the guy with the continuumtransfunctioner?”
Her browfurrowed.
“Never mind. Who ishe?”
“A vampire alchemist who lives in the basement of an old barn in Woodinville. Do you have any information about the poison? With a few ingredients, he may be able to identify it foryou.”
I leaned in, hope rising. If the alchemist could identify it, maybe he would also know how to nullifyit.
“There are vampires in Woodinville?” Dimitri asked. “That’s out in the suburbs, isn’tit?”
“Vampires can’t be suburban?” I asked as Nin pulled out her phone and looked up an address. “Maybe he’s a fan of the wineries outthere.”
I would have to check the lore to see if vampires could drink anything but blood. I hadn’t dealt with many in my line of work. Like these quasi-mythological dark elves, they stayed under the radar—and the surface of theearth.
“I suppose,” Dimitri said. “He doesn’t drive a minivan, doeshe?”
“You can’t possibly have a prejudice againstvans.”
“Here.” Nin texted me alink.
It wasn’t the map address I expected but a real estate listing for a house that had been on the market for nine-hundred-somedays.
“Do people not want to buy from a vampire?” Iasked.
“Nobody outside of the magical community knows about the vampire. No, let me clarify that. Nobody knows where he lives. He is quite famous online.Heknows how to use the socials.” Nin gave me a sternlook.
I lifted my hands in resignation. “If I manage to save my boss and clear my name, I will definitely look into social media marketing for myservices.”
“Excellent. I want to make sure my clients do well, so they can continue to affordmyservices.”
“You’re a savvybusinesswoman.”
“Yes.” Nin smiled. “Wait one moment,please.”
She hopped into thetruck.
“My life has gotten very strange in the last thirty-six hours,” Dimitriremarked.
“I’ve seen your yard art. Your life was alreadystrange.”
“Have we known each other long enough that it’s appropriate for you to insultme?”
“I don’t know. What if I buy you another tank ofgas?”
“That’ll make it okay then. Also, will you ask your friend if she teaches classes on business stuff? I don’t know how to market my art. The people who come by the property only want to pay twenty dollars for it. But it takes me a long time to find the pieces that will work with my special touch.” He wiggled his fingers to indicate the enchantments his dwarven blood had allowed him tolearn.
Nin returned with a brochure and several business cards. “Please give these to Zoltan and let him know that if he needs any weapons made, or if any of his fellow vampires need them made, I can accommodate him. Also, I am thinking of branching out into magicalarmor.”
“If he doesn’t try to bite my neck the instant we meet, I’ll give these tohim.”
“Of course he will try to bite your neck. You are the hated Mythic Murderer. But please also give him my brochure as a favor to me. And then I will do a favor for you. This is how networkingworks.”
“I’ll see what I cando.”
