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“But you don’t hate him. You never did. That’s the issue, isn’t it. You couldn’t get over him because you still love him, even now and that’s why you’re doing this.” Greg mutters, rubbing at his temples with his thumbs as I argue back with him.
“No, it's part of the reason. How many others has he done this to? How many other people has he roofied and raped who can’t remember? Fuck he did it to my boy right under my nose and I let him… I let him…” My voice breaks, cracking at the end and I stop to swallow the pain and the guilt back down.
I need to do this, I need to end it now, for Hudson and for me. I’ll never be able to let it go and it’ll eat me alive. I close my eyes breathing heavily as the sound of shattering outside startles me. My body trembles as memories of that day wash over me again and Greg claps his hand on my shoulder, gripping it firmly and groaning.
“Fine. We’ll need to be really smart about it and plan it out, plus keep Hudson away from it. Talk to him about staying in the closet a while longer. Tell him that I said that coming out during promo for the movie together when his management can’t interfere will be the best move strategically and then that’s it you guys are out. Plus tell him you need to act like you hate each other for a little longer. It’ll build up a buzz that you can’t stand one another but had to work together.”
With that we reach the set and I see my love standing there under the lights. He’s fucking gorgeous and I’m the luckiest man alive that he’s mine. I know he’ll go with me on this, and I wish I could tell him why. I don’t want to fuck things up again between us but this is something I need to do. I couldn’t protect him then but I sure as fuck can now.
The next few days pass quickly and Hudson and I can barely keep our hands off one another when we’re alone and spend our time catching up with each other’s bodies while our days are filled with filming, and arguing about stupid things on set. Hudson is confused at first, but when we spoke about what Greg said, he agreed that coming out during promo makes more sense, plus it gives us time alone away from the public to reconnect which can only be a good thing.
We keep up the pretense of hating each other and he agrees that we should keep everything between us under wraps so the crew and the rest of the cast don’t know that we’re together.
We don’t comment on the fact we were together at all. We just let the speculation run its course and the insider content from the movie talks about how much we hate each other and how we are always at each other’s throats, if only they knew what was happening behind the doors of our hut, but thankfully most people are oblivious.
As the end of filming approaches, I seek out Greg more and more frequently as we plan exactly what’s going to happen at the wrap party, going over security, getting the boys involved in keep Hudson distracted and tracking my cell.
Greg wants to put me in a car with security, take me to a prebooked hotel with camera’s set up, but also have me wearing a camera which I think is a bit overboard, but he refuses to budge on it and he offers to tell Hudson about our plans if I refuse to agree. Hudson is beginning to get suspicious though, because Greg and I keep disappearing and I’m doing everything I can to keep him out of it, but he’s starting to get irritated with me over the fact I’m hiding something.
Greg hates it but he can’t think of another way to prove Xander is guilty. It’s the only way to do it, so he reluctantly agrees to let me go ahead with it. Eventually I cave and tell Hudson about the plan because I’m worried that he’ll hate me more if I leave him out of it so as we wrap up in Morocco I pull him aside with Greg and fill him in. It’s not our final day of shooting so I know if everything goes pear shaped, I’ll still have to see him again because we have a few final scenes to film back in LA, but the movie is almost done.
“So, what’s the plan for the wrap party?” Hudson asks, as we sit together on a sand dune at sunset. It would be romantic if Greg hadn’t forced me to tell Hudson what was going on behind his back. This was Greg’s compromise. I had to let Hudson in or there was no dice. He would refuse to enable me to complete my vendetta.
“We’ll the wrap party is on Wednesday and the boys from the band are coming right?” I mutter, pressing my lips to his forehead and holding them there before drawing back to let him answer.
Hudson nods but he looks suspiciously between Greg and I with narrowed eyes and a pout on his beautiful lips.
“Yeah, they’ll be there and so will Maggie, Grant and Sid from my label.” He looks sadly down at his hands and wrings them together before meeting my eyes again I know why he’s doing it. He hates those assholes from his label. They refused to let him come out and forced him deeper into the closet which caused everything that happened between us. As it happens I loathe them too.
I exhale because this is the part that he’s going to hate. I know it. I can feel it building between us.
“We’ll I’m going with Greg, and you know Xander is coming right?” My voice gets weaker at the end, and I want to both run away and curl up on Hudson’s lap.
Hudson grimaces and nods his head, biting his lip as he watches me.
“I know but what does that have to do with us? Do you want me to stay away from you or something? Landon, what’s going on?” He sounds like he’s joking but something about my expression makes the frown he wears when he’s irritated or annoyed. There’s a crease between his brows and I want to run my finger over it, smoothing it out until he’s smiling again.
I swallow around the lump in my throat because I can tell he’s starting to suspect that my need for revenge is a fire that he can’t put out.
“I need to make him pay. I wanna use the wrap party to trap him and I need you to let me…”
Hudson’s eyes go wide and he stares between Greg and me as though waiting on the punchline before he rips his hand from mine and stands up. His body is vibrating with rage, and I lean back as he leans over me.
“Are you fucking crazy? No. No fucking way. You wanna let that animal near me again. No. No. You can’t be serious? Jesus Christ…”
His voice is vibrating with terror and fury, and he looks terrifying as his face goes red and his eyes go glassy as he stares down at me in disgust.
“No, not you…” Greg intones and Hudson glances between us. “Him.”
Hudson shakes his head again and stares at me with something akin to pleading, but when I just steadily hold his gaze, I know he can tell there’s no changing my mind so he spins around and storms away without looking back. Greg laughs a little and I sit back, rubbing at my stinging eyes because his first thought was that I’d put him in danger again and there is no way I’d ever let that happen. No way in hell.
I didn’t even get to tell him about the camera or that Greg would be there the whole time. It was all an illusion for Xander to fall for. The room was going to be bugged and there would be cameras in the car we’d use. I wasn’t going to be in any danger, but I didn’t get to explain any of it because Hudson refused to speak to me. He didn’t talk to me at all during our last days of filming, roomed with Vikki and refused to talk to me at all in LA.
The night of the party was upon us, and Greg was going over the safety arrangements again. I was to wear the tiny camera as my buttonhole and Greg would take me back to the hotel where the room was bugged. Everything was all set.
My palms were sweating as we walked into the ballroom and my eyes darted around spotting Hudson instantly. Vance had the note to give him when I left. It had the address of the house I’d bought for us when we got back to LA. I was going to be there tomorrow if he wanted to be with me then he could meet me there.
I scanned the room and saw Xander and a few more of the friends that Hudson had but they all ignored him. I knew what I was supposed to do but Hudson ignoring me hurt. He didn’t even acknowledge me as we had our photos taken or as we stood together for the paps.
