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15
Iawoke with a start, sitting up as someone shook my shoulder.
I whipped my head to my assailant, but the cry I was about to release died in my throat.
Creeper’s dark eyes were worried as he sat on the edge of my bed.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.
I just stared at him, my mind reeling over the vivid dream.
“Just a weird dream,” I sighed after a moment.
I then frowned, realizing just how close he was to my face.
Mere inches, and he was giving me a funny look.
Up this close, I could see his pupils were there, even as dilated as they were, and his irises were just a tad shade lighter. Black pools of concern for me, and confusion.
He was rather pale compared to Jack and Chumley, even Bug had a little more color than him. But it suited him well, a ghostly divine beauty.
Well, demonic.
Yes, all four of them were attractive and a nice sight to drool over. Not that I’d considered that at all. They were my monsters, not potential boyfriends.
And those deep, dark eyes were focused on mine, his lips slightly parted as he leaned forward a little more, the confused look now replaced with a determined one.
I caught my breath, my cheeks heating up as my heart skipped a beat.
Was he actually going to…
“My rock’s special.”
“What?” I blurted, completely taken aback by the statement.
“It’s special. I went to Dezikiel. Asked him to enlighten me like the others. It didn’t matter with the other students here, because I didn’t care how they felt about me… but, with you, I wanted to be able to connect better,” he said, the words rushing out as he continued staring at me.
Still close enough that I could feel the warmth of his breath brushing my lips.
“I had issues with rage. Dezikiel said I handled it well, but I used to shift. A lot. When I get upset or frustrated, I tended to shift into my hellhound form. Thankfully, there’s warding on this place to keep us from giving in to our hellhound ways too much. Keeps us from attacking the others or hurting anyone. But I used to wreck things. Break things out in the garden. Dezikiel suggested when I started to feel the shift, I go somewhere quiet to focus on relaxing. I didn’t know why he hated us shifting. Guess it was scary for some of the others. We’re…wild, like that. It makes sense now, but it used to anger me more. I love shifting, being who I really am. But I tried it once, just to see if it would help. It did. And I found that rock. Took it everywhere with me, it stopped me from shifting. I’d just hold it or turn it over in my hand when I’d get… upset. It was important to me, so I thought you might like it,” he said, the air rushing out of him as his shoulders slumped with the barrage of words.
I just blinked, taking it all in, then smiled at him.
So it had helped him. Now it made sense. It wasn’t just a random rock. It was his anchor, something that calmed him, and he’d given it to me.
I couldn’t help the flurry in my stomach at the realization.
“You know, you guys helped me with the same problem. I used to get something like that, but it was fear. I would get so anxious and afraid that I’d start to panic, I’d have these attacks. Somehow, having you guys around, focusing on you and knowing I was never alone, it helped me fight it. I learned to just breathe,” I murmured as I looked down at my bracelet and began fiddling with it.
I remembered many times I’d curled up on the floor with tears streaming down my face as I’d struggled to breathe.
I’d hear whichever hellhound was with me chittering away, growling softly as they sat down right next to me. Their presence had helped, and I’d started finding ways to focus my breathing. Many times I’d focus on their growling, using it as a way to slow my breathing. I never quite understood how or why, but it had helped.
Creeper frowned at me as he pulled back a little.
“Jack said you had anxiety attacks,” he stated. “I remember them. I never did understand them, I just remember knowing you were distressed and wishing I could make it go away.” He frowned as his eyes fell. “I wanted to help.”
“You all did, you did help,” I said gently as I rested a hand on his knee, and he managed a small smile.
